Eh. I'm not particularly excited about today's prompt. For today, the thirteenth day of the challenge, I am to issue a public apology. It can be as serious, funny, or creative as I like.
While I'm certain we all have something we could seriously apologize for, I can't think of anything at the moment. That probably sounds horrible, but oh well. Maybe I just can't think of anything I would apologize for without rationalizing.
Therefore, I'm going to resort to that newish phrase many of us hate: I'm sorry I'm not sorry.
So here it goes: I'm sorry that I'm not sorry for posting a ridiculous amount of pictures featuring my beautiful niece all over Facebook. In case you missed those, enjoy a few of them now:
So, I'm a little over halfway through Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge. I received it as a gift from my mom in 2007. This is the first time I've gotten around to reading it.
Oh, how I wish I'd gotten to it sooner. Before Jered and I got married. Before we were engaged. Before we started dating. Before I met him. And then over again as soon as I finished it. And then again and again and again and again.
Let me say this: this is a book all women need to read. Right away. All teenage girls should read it. Before they even consider dating. Ok, that might be a stretch, since it is actually written to women, but it's just that good. And I think it's something we need to be reminded of until it is deep-seated in our souls.
Have I made my point yet? Let me elaborate on the book's contents. The subtitle of the book is Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul. Convinced? Who doesn't want to figure out that mystery, right? I think as women, we mystify ourselves, so how can we expect men to understand us? (I simply cannot believe that I am the only one feeling that way- which is why I am in love with this book- I do not feel alone in the struggle.)
While the first half of my book is heavily graffitied with lines and circled sections and stars and exclamation points, I'm going to try to just share a few of my favorite parts with you.
I love what the book has to say about God' character. (I know- I just told you the book was about the secrets of a woman's soul. Just hang on.)
First, you'll discover that God is relational to his core, that he has a heart for romance. Second, that he longs to share adventures with us- adventures you cannot accomplish without him. And finally, that God has a beauty to unveil. A beauty that is captivating and powerfully redemptive.
The best part about that, besides the fact that we have a God who desperately longs for a relationship with us, is that they describe the soul of a woman in the same way. Those are the three ways that God reveals his image in women.
God and women are both intensely relationship driven. The world often sees this as a weakness in women. That they are needy.
Let me share a personal example of this. A few weeks ago, I made a fairly stupid decision. In an attempt to understand how Jered sees me, the depths of my character, who I really am, I asked him if he was only allowed two words, how he would describe me.
He sat and thought for a good solid minute or two, which I hadn't expected. I thought he would spout off two words without any thought. (I was later told that he had zoned out for a bit there.)
His answer: passionate... and needy.
I dissolved. My heart broke, right there in his pickup. And he was frustrated and confused at my reaction.
I have only ever heard Jered call me needy when he was annoyed. When I seemed too clingy. And there he was, choosing a negative word to be 50% of my description. That's a large amount of a person's being to be something negative. Of alllll the words he could have used. Needy.
Now, before I paint my husband in an unfair light, you must know that after we returned home that day, he came back from his shower, found his wife in tears at the kitchen sink, held her as she sobbed, and tried to explain.
It wasn't so much that he was thinking needy, as reliant, or dependent. Which in my head, still sounded pretty unappealing, but he explained that he was my husband, and I should be able to rely on him. That he wanted me to be able to.
(When I talked to my mom about this, we were able to laugh, and she pointed out that it was a classic case of pink and blue headphones. I wanted to know how Jered saw me, hoping it would be two positive attributes, and Jered was thinking practical and even- one good and bad. Balanced.)
He was thinking like a man. I was thinking as a woman. And I felt like something was wrong. with. me.
What I didn't realize then, was what I would read in this book just a few weeks later about the role of relationships in a woman's soul.
This is not a weakness in women- it is a glory. A glory that reflects the heart of God.
Wow.
The fact that I long for emotional intimacy, to be delighted in, and to have romance in my life, is a way that God reveals his own personality in mine. (Of course, thanks to human nature, it often becomes skewed by my sinful self, which is where the ugly traits that we talked about before come into play.)
This is getting lengthy, so I'll try to wrap up this first reflection on the book.
The other part I loved was when they took a look at the word "helper" used in Genesis when God talks about creating Woman. Ezer kenegdo is the Hebrew word for it, and a particular scholar who studied it, said it was extremely hard to translate. "Helper" doesn't quite cut it.
The phrase ezer is only used about twenty other times in the Old Testament, always referring to God. Most of the times it is used, it is within the context of God being needed desperately:
Most of the contexts are life and death, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. If he is not there beside you... you are dead. A better translation therefore of ezer would be "lifesaver." Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.
Now, I, in all my gangster style, read this and thought to myself, "Hollaaaa!"
Go ahead, laugh, but isn't that awesome?? Women have an irreplaceable, absolutely essential role to play in this world. We, as women, are desperately needed.
Ok. Basically, I would love to share this book with you chapter by chapter, heading by heading. But maybe you should just read it yourself, and I can just share my reflections on it with you as I continue to read it. Obviously I could write those reflections forever, so we will have to do a few installments. (Not to mention I haven't even finished it yet.)
So until next time, take care.
Aim
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