It's been a while. My apologies. Head's up: this will probably be a lengthy letter. Hang in there.
Last night Jered texted me, saying that he would love some post workout protein. I was tired, had zero thawed out chicken breasts, and only had about 15 minutes before he was going to be home. I looked in the freezer and saw some sausage... Looked in the fridge and saw the eggs... Mmmm... Breakfast burritos is is! Topped with our choice of guacamole, salsa, or hot sauce, it was sure to be a hit.
Unfortunately, our ability to enjoy dinner was interrupted by injury. Jered had pulled or strained something at the gym. It took him an extended amount of time to get home, and when he did arrive, he could barely move. I thought he was going to end up on the floor a couple times.
We tried some maneuvers that Jake suggested over the phone, but at the end of the night, my poor husband was absolutely pitiful. I felt horrible for him and was so frustrated that there was nothing I could do. On top of that, the poor guy was in pain all night and couldn't get comfortable. I think we were both awake for literally half the night.
Is it awful of me that I think it's a little cute too? Does that make me sadistic or something? I hope not. He's just cute when he needs taking care of.
So anyway, injured husband aside, exciting seems to be the word of the month.
We spent the first weekend of the month in Des Moines with Jacob, Molly, Jeremy, Kelly, friends from Des Moines, and Ginny. It was a fun-filled, yet relaxing weekend. I truly felt like I was on vacation. I cannot believe I returned without taking a single picture.
The really exciting part was that our Des Moines family and friends did an awesome job of selling the city to Jered. We came home with a list of hospitals for his applications, and some ideas for me as well. I don't want to speak too soon, but I can totally see us living there.
Our other exciting news started with some major worry on my end. With the possibility of moving time coming soon, and still no full time work for me, expenses were mounting in my head with a solution seeming far away.
A series of fortunate events, that I don't need to write all the way out for you since this is already a mammoth letter, has led to me having over forty hours of work on a typical week, with the possibility of more. Praise God!
That leads me to the last, and most important exciting news. Through another person's story, I've been reminded of how great our God is. In a real, personal, applicable way.
With his permission, I'm sharing it with you. You may have already seen it. If not, meet my brother-in-law, Justin.
(It's long, but very worth the read. Please don't skip out!)
My Testimony.
I don't know how well you know me, but those of you who do, probably have heard about or seen me in many different situations of sin, specifically, substance abuse, sexual immorality, and many more. I have been changed and I would like to tell you about it if you would take time to read this really really long post haha.
I have been raised in a Christian home, but I have never really believed that there is a God that I could actually interact with. In fact, I was so turned off at how hypocritical Christians were that I completely stopped believing in God. The whole time I still claimed to be a Christian (of course being hypocritical myself), because I didn't want to taint the name of my dad who was a pastor, and disappoint my parents who have always loved me. But 5 years ago, sadly, I completely let loose. I didn't care how I was perceived by anyone. I did what I wanted to do and whatever that meant, which for a long time has been smoking dope, drinking, and just basically not caring about anyone else other than myself. Honestly, it was quite refreshing to finally not feel like a hypocrite, because I had finally resolved that there was no such thing as a God. I mean what kind of God makes people say one thing and live out something else? I was lost in myself and I thought that I was better off for it. It wasn't till 2 weeks ago, when I was talking with Anna that the subject of God came up. Randomly, I asked her what she believed about the Bible and what it says about life, God, and how we should live. She explained where she stood, and it troubled me. So, after a long talk with her I decided I wanted to put this God of the Bible to the test. Why not? I am going to a Christian school where everyone is always talking about this unseen God, I grew up with my parents always telling me that God was real, why not test it? I was tired of all the judgment from all the Christian hypocrites. I wanted to just finally completely be able to rule out this God. So, I decided that I was going to stop smoking dope, drinking, and dipping for two weeks and in the time that it gave me (which was quite a lot), read my Bible with an open mind, and then keep a sort of journal. It was like a little science experiment. I was going to actually try to seek this God and see if He would answer. I know I was being a bit legalistic by just cutting out substance abuse, but that was the only place I knew to start, and those were the so called "sins" that Christians always talk about. That night, which was exactly two weeks ago, I started my testing of God... The first day was pretty hard; I told my buddy who I smoked with what I was trying to do, and he was supportive, but I could see that he was skeptical. I had to try though. Something inside me wanted to either completely let go, or grab on to the idea of a God who actually cares about my life. Guys, I can't explain to you how much of a change I have gone through over these two weeks! I broke up with my girlfriend, but she has gone through the same transformation, and we are actually still really close and experiencing the same transformation together, which is kind of insane. If you have ever been in a relationship with someone for over a year and then broken up, you know how rough it normally is, but we are seriously doing great. I started feeling a little bit happier during the day, even without smoking dope, which was what I was beginning to rely on for happiness. This God I was seeking was actually answering me. So, the first night, I just flipped to Matthew 7. I don’t know why, I just did. I read a bit where it talks about judging others, and I was thinking to myself, yeah all these judgmental Christians need to read this, but then I read in verse 7 where it says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knock, the door will be opened” (NIV). As I read this, I felt the urge to pray to God and tell Him that I was seeking Him. I prayed it over and over, until I was actually just smiling for no reason. I know it sounds crazy but it is true. I started to get this unexplainable feeling of Joy. I was a bit scared and skeptical of how real it really was, but there it was. I was like okay God, I feel that, lead me where you want me to go. The next day I woke up excited about this new feeling I had. I decided that I was going to listen to whatever thought crossed my mind during the day. I actually started feeling sad about all the things I had done, some of which I was still doing, like cheating on my Physics homework for example. I decided I wouldn’t cheat anymore and this new feeling got stronger as I decided that. It was like God was responding to my little acts of obedience with a little bit of an uplifting feeling. So, I just kept trying to follow my new urges that I knew were different than what I normally felt. Eventually, I decided that I needed to tell my Physics professor, that I had been cheating over the past year. I was really scared about confessing to it, because I had a lot of tests coming up, and I was expecting him to say something like, “Thanks for coming to me, and because of your honesty you can make up the homework’s for half credit” which would have been just in anyone’s eyes and would have made my school life a lot more hectic. But instead, he looked at me and said, “God bless you! Go and sin no more!” He was giving me grace! The same grace that God had been giving me over the course of the week. My spirit soured. You could have told me that I was going to lose my right leg and that wouldn’t have been able to discourage me at that moment. I had finally realized that God was real, and that I wanted to spend my life obeying His commands. I have now dedicated my life to following what the Bible says, is truth. Which is the truth of Jesus Christ’s saving sacrifice. Whatever the Bible says, I believe is inspired by God and is worth reading and living out. Guys, I seriously have had the best two weeks of my life. Each day, has been better and better. I still mess up, but that is inevitable. The Bible says in Galatians 5:16 “16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy,[a] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (ESV). So, each day is a battle against what my body craves and what the Spirit in me wants. I know this could sound a bit loony. But if you know me, I normally am level headed about most things hahaha ;) This is my life I’m talking about, it’s no little commitment, and I believe with all that I am that Jesus Christ has died on the cross to pay for all the wrongs I have committed and will ever commit. I just need to try and follow His leading. I am saying all of this not to make anyone view me as “holier than though” and what not, but because I actually care about all of you. You can’t know how much of a difference it has made in my life, with all of my relationships, stress, and anxiety. Please don’t think to yourself, “Well, I’m glad he found something that works for him.” I know that this isn’t just some random emotional outburst. The Bible is true. I swear to you it is. Without God, there is happiness, but a happiness that comes and goes. The joy I feel right now is soo much better than that it is eternal. I am so sorry for my example over the past 21 years of my life. I hope that you all can forgive. Try reading the Bible without any preconceived thoughts, with a heart that is open to whatever God has for you. You won’t be disappointed.
I don't know how well you know me, but those of you who do, probably have heard about or seen me in many different situations of sin, specifically, substance abuse, sexual immorality, and many more. I have been changed and I would like to tell you about it if you would take time to read this really really long post haha.
I have been raised in a Christian home, but I have never really believed that there is a God that I could actually interact with. In fact, I was so turned off at how hypocritical Christians were that I completely stopped believing in God. The whole time I still claimed to be a Christian (of course being hypocritical myself), because I didn't want to taint the name of my dad who was a pastor, and disappoint my parents who have always loved me. But 5 years ago, sadly, I completely let loose. I didn't care how I was perceived by anyone. I did what I wanted to do and whatever that meant, which for a long time has been smoking dope, drinking, and just basically not caring about anyone else other than myself. Honestly, it was quite refreshing to finally not feel like a hypocrite, because I had finally resolved that there was no such thing as a God. I mean what kind of God makes people say one thing and live out something else? I was lost in myself and I thought that I was better off for it. It wasn't till 2 weeks ago, when I was talking with Anna that the subject of God came up. Randomly, I asked her what she believed about the Bible and what it says about life, God, and how we should live. She explained where she stood, and it troubled me. So, after a long talk with her I decided I wanted to put this God of the Bible to the test. Why not? I am going to a Christian school where everyone is always talking about this unseen God, I grew up with my parents always telling me that God was real, why not test it? I was tired of all the judgment from all the Christian hypocrites. I wanted to just finally completely be able to rule out this God. So, I decided that I was going to stop smoking dope, drinking, and dipping for two weeks and in the time that it gave me (which was quite a lot), read my Bible with an open mind, and then keep a sort of journal. It was like a little science experiment. I was going to actually try to seek this God and see if He would answer. I know I was being a bit legalistic by just cutting out substance abuse, but that was the only place I knew to start, and those were the so called "sins" that Christians always talk about. That night, which was exactly two weeks ago, I started my testing of God... The first day was pretty hard; I told my buddy who I smoked with what I was trying to do, and he was supportive, but I could see that he was skeptical. I had to try though. Something inside me wanted to either completely let go, or grab on to the idea of a God who actually cares about my life. Guys, I can't explain to you how much of a change I have gone through over these two weeks! I broke up with my girlfriend, but she has gone through the same transformation, and we are actually still really close and experiencing the same transformation together, which is kind of insane. If you have ever been in a relationship with someone for over a year and then broken up, you know how rough it normally is, but we are seriously doing great. I started feeling a little bit happier during the day, even without smoking dope, which was what I was beginning to rely on for happiness. This God I was seeking was actually answering me. So, the first night, I just flipped to Matthew 7. I don’t know why, I just did. I read a bit where it talks about judging others, and I was thinking to myself, yeah all these judgmental Christians need to read this, but then I read in verse 7 where it says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knock, the door will be opened” (NIV). As I read this, I felt the urge to pray to God and tell Him that I was seeking Him. I prayed it over and over, until I was actually just smiling for no reason. I know it sounds crazy but it is true. I started to get this unexplainable feeling of Joy. I was a bit scared and skeptical of how real it really was, but there it was. I was like okay God, I feel that, lead me where you want me to go. The next day I woke up excited about this new feeling I had. I decided that I was going to listen to whatever thought crossed my mind during the day. I actually started feeling sad about all the things I had done, some of which I was still doing, like cheating on my Physics homework for example. I decided I wouldn’t cheat anymore and this new feeling got stronger as I decided that. It was like God was responding to my little acts of obedience with a little bit of an uplifting feeling. So, I just kept trying to follow my new urges that I knew were different than what I normally felt. Eventually, I decided that I needed to tell my Physics professor, that I had been cheating over the past year. I was really scared about confessing to it, because I had a lot of tests coming up, and I was expecting him to say something like, “Thanks for coming to me, and because of your honesty you can make up the homework’s for half credit” which would have been just in anyone’s eyes and would have made my school life a lot more hectic. But instead, he looked at me and said, “God bless you! Go and sin no more!” He was giving me grace! The same grace that God had been giving me over the course of the week. My spirit soured. You could have told me that I was going to lose my right leg and that wouldn’t have been able to discourage me at that moment. I had finally realized that God was real, and that I wanted to spend my life obeying His commands. I have now dedicated my life to following what the Bible says, is truth. Which is the truth of Jesus Christ’s saving sacrifice. Whatever the Bible says, I believe is inspired by God and is worth reading and living out. Guys, I seriously have had the best two weeks of my life. Each day, has been better and better. I still mess up, but that is inevitable. The Bible says in Galatians 5:16 “16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy,[a] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (ESV). So, each day is a battle against what my body craves and what the Spirit in me wants. I know this could sound a bit loony. But if you know me, I normally am level headed about most things hahaha ;) This is my life I’m talking about, it’s no little commitment, and I believe with all that I am that Jesus Christ has died on the cross to pay for all the wrongs I have committed and will ever commit. I just need to try and follow His leading. I am saying all of this not to make anyone view me as “holier than though” and what not, but because I actually care about all of you. You can’t know how much of a difference it has made in my life, with all of my relationships, stress, and anxiety. Please don’t think to yourself, “Well, I’m glad he found something that works for him.” I know that this isn’t just some random emotional outburst. The Bible is true. I swear to you it is. Without God, there is happiness, but a happiness that comes and goes. The joy I feel right now is soo much better than that it is eternal. I am so sorry for my example over the past 21 years of my life. I hope that you all can forgive. Try reading the Bible without any preconceived thoughts, with a heart that is open to whatever God has for you. You won’t be disappointed.
Justin's story challenged me to dig into the Word. To really dig. And to utilize the power of prayer.
I honestly believe that is how the opportunity for so much work came to be.
Don't you love when God reminds you of a single message over and over and over in a short time? That's been happening to me over the last week or so.
This week, due to me working late and Daylight Savings, Jered and I decided to watch the Moody Church service online in our coffee shop. I really felt that the sermon just reinforced exactly what our friend with the challenging story is experiencing right now.
Naturally, I'm going to share with you. Stay put for more exciting news:
The sermon was about the emotional God we sometimes forget, the God who sings.
First off, we were reminded that we are image bearers of God- not the other way around. In an emotional aspect, this means that our emotions are a "dim reflection" of His emotions. His are always pure and appropriate, and ours undoubtedly pale in comparison when it comes to the depth they are felt.
The passage he used was Zephaniah 3:17 because it shows the magnitude of God's delight in us.
"He will rejoice over you with gladness." This is not a mild statement. The use of "gladness" after "rejoice" is mean to be repetitive to show the strength of that promise. The example he used was that of the bridegroom rejoicing over his bride. The beaming look on the groom's face reveals just a small portion of the joy God feels for us. Thinking back to Jered's face on our wedding day makes this simply astounding to me.
"He will quiet you by His love." The Hebrew word for love here is an affectionate love, usually used for husband and wife, or for a parent and child. It's love that makes time stand still. Or a soul-sharing love. The New Living Translation says "His love will calm all your fears." It's the being so in love that explaining words are exhausted, and all that can be done is to be in each other's presence.
"He will exalt over you with loud singing." Yes, our sins cause Him grief and sorrow and frustration. But He is God and can feel more than one emotion at a time. He is all powerful; His love is not a water faucet that can be turned on and off, but a waterfall pouring over us, unable to be stopped.
So how is this made real in our lives? First we must believe it. Then we should enjoy it. Enjoy that God delights over us. God would have nothing less. This is where I feel Justin is right now. He is truly believing and enjoying the fact that God delights in him more than anything else in the world, just as He does for all of us.
Lastly, God's delight in us is the most powerful catalyst for change, so we must share it. However, we cannot share it if we are not full of it.
So fill up with God's love and delight dear friend.
Until next time,
Aim
