Peace of June

Today was a simple day. A lazy day, full of simple pleasures.

After church we enjoyed a delightful Chinese food dinner while watching Knight and Day. It was the second time for me. (Last night Katie and I watched it with Uncle Donny and Tyler. We had a fun uncle/niece/cousin date. The best part was when Uncle Donny said that he had thought his wife was gone for the week, but surprise! We're just like her when it comes to excessive talking during movies.)

Oops- tangent.

I spent the remainder of the afternoon cleaning my room... Good news- the pink carpet is quite visible. Is that good news?

While getting things ready for a week of work, I watched movies and revelled in the delicious scent of my new mulberry/raspberry/blackberry candle that permeated my room.

I bet you can't guess what we're doing now.

We are watching Knight and Day again.

Crazy, I know, but here's the rationalization. Jesse, Oscar, and Katie weren't here earlier today, Dad slept through the whole thing the first time, and of course, Katie and I just like watching funny movies over and over again.

And in my humble opinion, this movie is quite funny. And I don't even like Tom Cruise. In fact, I think he's a little creepy, but his eccentricity in this film makes me laugh. I don't typically like Cameron Diaz either, but this is definitely my favorite character that she's portrayed.

I think my favorite thing about June is that she is almost child-like. She also has hilarious reactions to the madness going on around her.

Tangent! I'm not here to give you a movie review, although I would recommend it. I'm here because I'm pondering life. Ha, well maybe not quite so deep as that.

In the movie, Roy explains to June what will happen if she doesn't stay with him. "With me..." His hand goes up in the air. "Without me..." His hand goes low to the ground. He repeats this sequence three times in a way that makes Katie and me giggle.

Today in church, the message was on peace.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:7

To activate this peace, this unexplainable peace, we have to trust in God. The God of peace will be with us. This is "a promise and a life-changing truth." Ok... I don't know about you... but this seems like a no-brainer to me. Why would I want to turn down this peace and take on the worries and anxieties of the world?

This morning, God was reminding me of this: "With me..." Hand in the heavens. "Without me..." Worldly despair. "With me... Without me... With me... Without me..." The difference is like night and day. (Ha. Get it?)

Silly as this parallel may seem, June stuck with Roy. She put her life in his hands, and ended up with just that. A life. A better life than she had before. Now, since Roy is Tom Cruise, just think how immeasurably better our lives will be if we stick with God. The difference is so great that it seems wrong to compare the two... but I hope you get my point.

Now, excuse me while I finish this flick for the third time in two days, and listen to the rain and thunder that is fantastically punctuating the night.

Mawwiage is What Bwings Us Togevaw Towday...

Gotta love the guy from Princess Bride.

Winter is nearly over, and spring is on its way. (Well, maybe after this next winter storm.) As such, marriage is in the air! The spring and summer weddings are just around the corner, and the brides are finishing up the many details of the ceremony, the reception, and of course, the wardrobe.

To be honest, this post was planned out around Thanksgiving, and I never got my rear in gear to type it out. I have, however, had the notes written out in my writing journal from Jered since November.

Marriage was already in the air then. My dear friends, Kelly and Jeremy, had just joined the ranks of engaged couples, and the excitement was tangible to all who know them. In my life personally, they joined my cousin, Kaylee, and her soon-to-be husband, Chad, and my long-time friend, Alaina, and her fiance, Nathan. It's a happy time for certain.

And let's be fair, many girls my age have marriage on the brain anyway. It's in ads everywhere from the radio and T.V., to Facebook. Not to mention the TIU-coined phrase, "Ring by spring" and the ever-popular MRS degree.

But in November, I was reintroduced to a different way of looking at marriage. Not a new way. I've heard this one since I was little. This time it ingrained itself in me, in a mind-blowing way. A marriage of which I'm already a part!

The marriage between Christ and the Church.

More specifically, the marriage between God and the Israelites in the desert. This is the new part to me. And let me tell you, it opened up a whooole new can of worms. If we are on the same line of thinking at all, hold on tight because this is wild.

Generally, I thought of the 40 years in the desert as a terrible time. I mean, come on... it's the desert. I'm all for sun and sand, but only if there's water involved too, and I don't think they were really enjoying a "fun in the sun" kind of time. But... turns out, this time was a courting period. Crazy, right? Over and over again, the Bible says that God led Israel into the desert like a bride. '"I remember how eager you were to please me as a young bride long ago, how you loved me and followed me even through the barren wilderness."' -Jeremiah 2:2

Remember how parents always said rules were made to keep us safe because they loved us? Not because they were trying to be mean and enforce their will on us? Ten Commandments... not so legalistic, but instead God's way of showing love. Not loving the parent/child picture? How about this: The Ten Commandments were an expression of vows between God and the Israelites. The commandments were copied down twice, ten on each tablet. Not five on each. One copy for God, one copy for His bride.

Not going for it yet? Try looking at them this way: Thou shalt have no other gods before me. You will have no other lovers aside from me. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Make time for me. I love you and want to spend time with you, to get to know you.

The other eight will fit too. Go ahead. Look into it.

Other physical evidence of a wedding at Sinai included the cloud covering, which symbolized the arch-like covering at Jewish weddings, and the cleansing ritual before a Jewish wedding. (God told Moses to have the Israelites cleanse themselves before the Ten Commandments were given.)

In true soap opera fashion, drama surfaced.

News bulletin: This just in! Bride engages in an affair at her own wedding!

Can you even imagine the pain the groom felt? He had spent so much time taking care of his bride-to-be. He rescued her from the Egyptians, guided her through the desert, provided for her in her time of need, and had a place prepared for her to live.

Somehow, in a way only He can, God forgave His wayward bride. And there was still dancing as the Ten Commandments were read because God was saying, "I love you!" He continued, and still continues to pursue a bride who doesn't always love Him back. "'But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there.'" -Hosea 2:14

How do we say "I do"? How did Jesus teach it?

By loving the Lord, your God with all your soul, your heart, and your mind. And by loving your neighbor as your self.

***

So, five days later, I'm arriving at my point. If you've stuck it out this long, I promise we're almost done.

I can't imagine being unfaithful to a husband. So how can I be unfaithful to my God every single day? I don't try to be, but I am. I get tired and go to bed, or sit and watch T.V., or find something more exciting to do. All I can do is try to show Him love in everything, to tell Him, "I do!" And the worst part, or maybe best part, is that He is a partner who will never, ever stop pursuing me, no matter how unfaithful and unloving I am.

Wow.

And that is why I can still dance and sing for the love my God has for me.


*All Biblical analyses came from That the World May Know - 6 Faith Lessons by Ray Vanderlaan.

One Down!

I almost forgot!

Remember in my first post? Well, maybe you're a new follower and haven't read it. In either case, I listed off several projects that had stalled or never started.

Remember the huge frame Katie gave me? The one that was propped up in between my dresser and the wall?

I finally put it to use.

It's nothing special, just something super simple... but it's a start I suppose.

When Things Get Messy...

Sometimes... work wears me out...

Sometimes... I'm only home on the weekends...

Sometimes... I don't feel like spending my few hours of free time picking up after myself...

Sometimes... my room gets a little messy...

This is always Katie's reaction to such an atrocity.

I guess this is one area in which I've proven to be more relaxed than Katie. Such a category also includes: germaphobia, organization, and soaking dishes. I will not use hand sanitizer before every meal at a restaurant, keep my books and movies in a particular order, and I don't mind letting dishes soak for half an hour or so before washing them. Katie... is the opposite.

Anyway. On the night these crime scene photos were taken, I decided to be a bit ambitious. I went for the kill... cleaning out my closet. It was an absolute disaster, and things definitely got worse before they got better.

In the words of Professor Slughorn, "But that's life, I suppose."*

My life will be messy and unorganized. This isn't a surprise. It's obvious. Sometimes it helps to come right out and say it though. And the cliche of all cliches comes into play here as well. "The night is darkest before the dawn."

Have no fear: this is not a post about my life falling apart at the seams. My life is just peachy, not disastrous by any means. But, as it is life, I am sure such times will come. And when they do... no worries. I have my Light to lead me out of the darkness.

Sometimes... my room becomes a war zone...

Sometimes... I forget the color of my carpet...

Sometimes... I'm just fine with that fact... you would be too if you had pink carpet...

Sometimes... I like to throw clothes on the floor just to see Katie's reaction...

It always brings a smile to my face.

*Taken from the film The Half-Blood Prince, and is best read in a slightly slurred, British accent.

Casimir Pulaski Day

Hello blog world friends. I sit here tonight, completely drained, and somehow energized. Maybe I'm soaking up some energy from the beautiful gerber daisies sitting here on Katie's desk from her special someone.


He did well didn't he?

A month or so ago, I was sitting at work, just chatting away with the girls, when the phone rang. I answered.

"Thank you for calling Sam Leman's in Peoria. How can I love you today?"

Did you catch it?

I'm not sure if the customer did. If he did, he was kind enough to pretend he didn't. If I had been in his shoes, I would have wondered what kind of establishment was being run there... Needless to say, we all had a good giggle at my subconscious word choice.

Let's fast forward to today. It seemed to start with the blizzard. And the cold. And maybe people are experiencing that typical winter depression. Whatever the reason, work has been a bit of a mad house lately. The girls and I stopped and smiled at each other today, even though we were all at our breaking points.

"At least it's mutual, and we're still laughing together," was all I could say.

I headed out the door at the end of the day, feeling that those familiar tears of exhaustion and frustration could resurface at any moment. And then something magical happened.

I opened the door and breathed in. And breathed in deep. And breathed in until my lungs couldn't hold any more.

Let's remember, that I work close to downtown, in a pretty busy area of the city. However, when I breathed in the air after work, it was the sweet, damp scent of a Mississippi spring morning. Katie will back me up here. It is a specific smell that only occurs here on the most precious days.

No tears came, but if they had broken through, they had been changed to tears of relief.

As I repeatedly filled my lungs as much as possible, I basked in the fact that I wasn't shivering at all. I felt refreshed and comfortable. I got in my car, and instead of pulling out of there as quick as I could, as per usual, I sat. Just for a moment, but long enough.

Although I was refreshed, the mood from the day hadn't completely evaporated. So I turned on one of my favorite, sweet, sad, and somehow, still comforting songs*, opened the sunroof, and took my time getting to Katie's.

As I drove, it occurred to me. "How can I love you?" Today, that was how God loved me. He refreshed me... in a totally random, small, and probably meaningless way to anyone else. It was just what I needed though. A breath of fresh air.


He didn't stop there though. He allowed me strength to run three and a half miles, until I felt as though I was walking on clouds, my body floating. He gave me time with Katie, running, and eating a particularly healthy dinner, and now settling down for a good flick. He helped me feel stronger, like I can take on tomorrow with my typical, quiet sassiness.

These blessings may not seem significant to anyone else. Today, to me, they were life-giving.

Oh, how He loves.

*See Casimir Pulaski Day by Sufjan Stevens. Can be found on playlist at the bottom of this page.

Mermaids and Unicorns

When does being dilligent become excessive? After a whopping three posts in a week? Maybe... We'll just call it making up for lost time over the last few months.

Prepare yourself for a disjointed blog without much of a point in the end.

This morning I was reminded of what a wonderful childhood I had. Maybe "reminded" is the wrong word because I've always known I had a great time and that I was blessed.


A few weeks ago Katie and I had a Barbie day with a couple young girls. Katie lugged all of our Barbie paraphanalia down from the attic, and we spent the day setting up a miniature town, dressing and sorting the dolls, and playing out the lives of twelve Barbies. Each. Have you ever tried to carry out a storyline where twelve Barbie lives hang in the balance at your hands? I did. It was overwhelming. We had to come up with names, which in itself was a challenge, and then come up with twelve different lives. Katie and I may have had more fun than the two little girls.
Today Katie admitted that she was in the sixth grade when she learned that Santa wasn't real. She wrote about it in her diary because she was so devestated. It was the same day she learned the tooth fairy wasn't real... in sixth grade.

We led an enchanted childhood. Katie's greatest disappointment in life came when she discovered mermaids and unicorns weren't real either. I can't say that I really disagree with her. I spent many hours at the pool daydreaming about how cool it would be to be a mermaid.

Whether it was Barbies, or Littlest Petshop, or American Girl dolls, or Beanie Babies, or playing house, or detectives, or dare I say it... Mary Kate and Ashley, Katie and I knew how to play. We were playtime enthusiasts, and we were downright good at it.

Now... well we don't play so much, but we do know how to make just about anything a good time. I think most people don't understand us, but that's alright because we get it. Now it is typically working sound lyrics, movie quotes, or Big Bang jargon into our conversations. Or singing and dancing in the car or while we cook. Or simply laughing at the eccentricities of our day.

Today, I think I'd like to end with something a little different... A question. If you want to comment, by all means go ahead, but the question is more simply for the purpose of making you think and remember some of the magical moments from your childhood. We laugh at it now, as "adults," but as a child some of those things didn't seem so extreme. What would you want to be real? Mermaids? Unicorns? Narnia? Talking animals?

I think I'd go with mermaids.

Tsewed

Gasp! What is this? TWO posts in one week??

Why, yes. It is.

"Tsewed," in case you are wondering, is the three-year-old pronounciation of Jered.

As the day of St. Valentine, in regard to which I compulsively alternate between moods of absolute annoyance and something a little more positive than tolerance, draws ever nearer, I've been led to even more frequent thoughts about my favorite person. When it comes to him, I experience not tolerance, but joy and blessing.

Warning: this will be a sappy, sentimental post. Continue at your own risk.

So, as the said "holiday" approaches, I have been remembering some of the sweetest moments from the two and a half years we've been together. Now I'm going to share them with anyone who feels like sharing the smile that's on my face right now.

Only two weeks after we met, Jered agreed to be my date to a wedding and meet most of my family and a bunch of strangers. Bravery... check!

I found several sweet notes and flowers on my pillow and notes on the windshield of my car.

After a night out with the girls, I came to my room to find all of my favorite candies, the most adorable note, and my ipod was set to play the words "you're beautiful" when I pushed play.

He would go completely out of his way to walk me to class.

For our first Christmas together, he went all out. He took me to see Grease in Chicago. He gave me a giftcard to my favorite store. But both of these still pale in comparison to my music box. He built me a music/jewelry box that was absolutely beautiful and perfect, complete with engravings. I cried... surprise surprise.
On our first Valentine's Day, he sent me out on a scavenger hunt. I was initially upset because he made me go all the way to the beach by myself, with nothing but a rhyme as my clue. Each clue led me to a different significant spot, where some of my favorite candy was waiting with yet another clue. I was eventually led back to my room, where a candle-lit dinner of chicken noodle soup and sparkling grape juice was waiting. He also wrote me the most adorable poem, and had a single rose for our first Valentine's Day as a couple.

While I went on our school's band tour for spring break, he wrote me a note for each day so that I had a bundle of letters to read when I got back. When I returned to TIU, he was waiting outside the school to meet me and take me on a walk.

Over Easter break, when he went to the Gorge with the guys, he kept a video journal, so that I had something from him for every day that he was gone. Then he surprised me by coming to my house before he went home.

For my birthday, he took me out on a perfect, day-long date.

On our one-year anniversary, he sneakily surprised me with a pair of boots I really wanted, even though we agreed on not giving gifts.

When I was horribly sick with the flu, he visited me and brought me whatever I wanted, held me, and prayed for me.

He came to all of my band concerts.

On our second Valentine's Day, I came home from a looong day of band, to some art books, and two roses on my pillow. Neither of these were as surprising as the haircut he walked in with a few minutes later. (I think my roommate was almost more surprised than I was!)

He spent hours talking with me and my roommates because I wanted him to be present just for homework and studying purposes... which usually turned into girly talk time.

Because I asked him, he gave up going to a friend's wedding to be at my college graduation.

After three weeks of zero contact, he came with my mom and sister to surprise me at the airport when I came home from Ukraine.
Instead of going home for Labor Day weekend, he helped build a deck for my grandparents and spent the weekend with me and my family.
He gave up being with his family to be with me for New Year's Eve... even though we only went out to eat, came home, and watched a movie, during which I slept most of the time...

This weekend, he surprised me by showing up in Old Navy. He took me on a wonderful date, and then spent the rest of the weekend with me. He even gave up watching the super bowl with the guys, who actually like football... or football where Jered isn't playing...

I would go on, but I think you probably get the picture. My Jered is awfully sweet, and is naturally my favorite. So when it comes to Valentine's Day... well, it's ok I guess, but when I have a guy like this, why would I want to only remember these things once a year? I'd rather spend every day remembering the sacrifices, grand gestures, surprises, and fun times from my best friend.

Little Miracles

Alas, it has again been far too long since my last post. This one should be short and sweet.

Roughly three and a half years ago, I was sitting by the pool at my grandparents' house. I was surrounded by most of my family on my dad's side. It was the Fourth of July. It changed all of our lives.

Sometime in the afternoon, Uncle Terry received a call from his son Adam. Some of us were able to hear him over the phone. It was time! They were going now, and it was going to happen!

We all scrambled about, running around the deck, hurrying inside to change, and loading everyone up in the cars. Our caravan of cars paraded to the hospital in Peoria.

I don't remember how many times the nurse scolded our normally loud family, for the even louder excitement we couldn't suppress. She was here!


Laynah May Rude. Just under three pounds. About two months premature.

She was the tiniest, most precious, and biggest blessing from God. She was our little miracle baby.

Laynah is now an energetic three and a half year old. She slides down the railing at church, chases balloons around the gym with other three year olds, and is showing signs of having her mama's dramatic side. =) This week Lorie posted that her quote of the week was "Welcome to Hollywood!" I sense a star in the making.

Now, if you get a chance to talk to Laynah, she will undoubtedly tell you that she is quite excited about something: her new sibling who is on his or her way. She even has a name picked out already: Sweetie. So, if you see this little wonder girl, ask her about her Sweetie. It looks like it's time for the miracle baby to be able to be a big sister. =)