I so clearly remember my delight in realizing we had one. And now we have two beautiful daughters.
For as long as I can remember, when thinking about my future children, I always pictured two girls. Jered looked at me shortly after Leyla was born and said, "You got your dream." And I had.
It's precious. And heartbreaking. Evelyn loves her. The first thing she says after waking up is, "Ley-la? Le-le-le-la?" She rushes to our bedroom or the living room to look for her. Once she panicked when Leyla wasn't where she thought she'd be, so I had to assure her that her little sister was just in the other room.
It's heartbreaking because she wants so badly to love on her, but we're always telling her to "Be gentle. Watch your feet. Don't lean on her. Nice hands. Don't climb up by her right now! Watch her head!" Poor thing- always getting scolded just for trying to give love to her baby.
She kisses Leyla whenever she can. Runs over to give her tiny sleeping hands fist-bumps. Pats her bottom. Tries to share snacks with her.
[This was taken right after she got up from a nap. She ran into the living room, got down next to her, and just stared at her.]
But she also steals her pacifier all the time- sometimes roughly grabbing it right out of her mouth and scratching her face in the process. And she rips blankets off of her while she's sleeping after being repeatedly warned not to bother her.
I was worried about jealousy, but so far that doesn't seem to be an issue. I suspect there is some feeling left out done on her part, so I try my best to involve her and guide her in showing love gently. We gave her a new baby doll when we were in the hospital, so while I'm nursing Leyla, she gives Stella her bottle, burps her, gives her a paci, and rocks her to sleep. She's even brought me a diaper to put on Stella. It's a little adorable... until she carries her around by the hair.
I don't want to wish away the years because I love their ages right now, but I can't help but imagine the joy of watching them actively play together. I dream of them being best friends, sleeping in each other's rooms and listening to them talk and giggle until they fall asleep, and having always being there for each other.
As for our current state, well, motherhood looks a little different than last time I wrote about it. At the moment I have a sleeping baby on my lap and a crying toddler in the crib who is telling me it's time to get out of bed.
