Since I had multiple topics I wanted to talk about, I decided to jot down notes yesterday in order to actually remember them when it came time to write. Ha. I have a mom brain now, you know.
After having my quiet time this morning, my direction for today has changed.
Just yesterday I was telling you about my struggle with pride and one of the ways I've seen it play out in our marriage. Well, wouldn't you know, this popped up in the passage I read today:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,
but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests,
but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God
something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death-
even death on a cross!
Philippians 2:3-8
Now isn't that always the way?
His timing is uncanny.
I used to be so envious of people who said they had experienced God audibly speaking to them. Or they had an overwhelming feeling that He was speaking to them. I've come to realize that even if I don't hear Him verbalize a lesson to me, He makes said lesson pretty clear. The same topics come up over and over and over again. Until I get it. (The lesson- not the mastery of it.)
I feel like God is teaching me so many different things right now, but they all manage to seep together.
I've been reading so much about selflessness, caring for others, looking at my marriage through the scope of eternity, and love in general lately. It reminded me of that sermon I talked about "recently." (When I took a minute to figure out just how long it had been, I realized it had been almost two years... oops.) The pastor talked about how he decided to pray through one attribute of love until he felt he had a good grasp on it, and then continued through the list.
You might remember I decided to start with jealousy. While I haven't mastered this aspect, I am getting the idea that perhaps God thinks it's time for me to focus on a new one. Pride.
I also came across some old notes I had taken during my reading of Philippians this morning. I don't remember the story exactly, but basically a group of officials were together making war plans. Someone asked what the best defense against the atom bomb was. One wise man answered, "peace."
Underneath that note, I had written, "We bring glory to God simply by letting His love win."
It all comes together, right? Is it just me? I don't know. I guess I'm seeing my pride pop up and wreak havoc on my relationship with Jered because I want to win. I want to be right. I want him to listen and understand and fall into place with my wants and needs.
But that is so not Christ like. Doggonit.
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God
something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death-
even death on a cross!
So who am I to think I deserve any better than that?
Only one other time in my life did I realize that pride might be a struggle of mine. It came as a bit of a shock to be honest. But I guess I kind of forgot about it.
Now it's hitting me hard, and I'm figuring out that it's a major issue for me. And it reveals itself in many ways. (It even goes so far as to give me anxiety about Evelyn's hair falling out. I'm realizing that even though her hair has no bearing in how much I love her or how beautiful I think she is, I was ridiculously proud of her thick dark locks.)
So, in short, I'll be praying for humility for awhile. I'm dreading it a bit. Kind of like when you pray for patience, yeah? Scary.
As for Evelyn's pictures, I am almost a month behind! Suffice it to say, those pink leggings are a little more snug now then they were shown here:
Talk to you later!
Aim
