2014: Loving

Hello dear friends,

I'm taking another short hiatus from telling you about my grandparents.  I promise to tell you everything you need to know about my sweet Grandma Robbie next time.

I started off my day by browsing the blogs I follow.  If you don't have a list you're following, I would encourage you to do some searching because there are some amazingly beautiful writers in the blogging world.  You can find fun, lighthearted ones that cover recipes, DIY projects, and fashion.  You can also find blogs that cover specific areas like religion or parenting, and some that just cover everything.  I have found some wonderful blogs to follow, and they are truly enriching.

As you can probably imagine, writers are having a heyday with resolutions right now.  The blog I read this morning was similar, but it took a little different spin on the topic.  Rather than listing things she wanted to change or things she wanted to start doing, she simply chose one word that she wanted to describe her for the year.  For example, for 2014, she chose brave.

I started thinking that instead of making a to do list of unrealistic goals, this woman had the right idea.  Why set myself up to fail at a list of accomplishments, when I could actually work on myself as a person?  Improve my personality, challenge and strengthen my faith, better my marriage.  All by working toward one word.

This woman's post really just sealed what I was already thinking about after the message I heard on Sunday.  It was all about unconditional love, based on 1 Corinthians 13.  As I listened I, like the speaker, realized that I don't love my husband right.

Don't get me wrong- I am head over heels in love with my husband, and I choose to love him, and I try to demonstrate that love.  But, I'm not loving him the way he needs to be loved.   I'm not loving unconditionally; I love for myself.  I love to receive love back, and I love in the way I want to receive it from him.

Let me attempt to briefly tell you this man's story:  He was getting ready to start counseling with his wife, and his pastor made him agree to read 1 Corinthians 13 every night until they started their counseling.  He read it for a few nights and then all of the sudden, one night, "it does not envy" popped out at him.  As he read it more, he realized more and more that he wasn't really loving his wife.  He cried out to God, telling Him that it was all too much.  He could not be all of these things.  And then he felt God say, "You can be one.  You can work on one."  And that's what he did.

He chose to work on not being jealous.  He prayed about it earnestly and three years later, he felt like he was at a place where he could tell God, "Ok, I'm ready to start another one."

Much of his message was similar to the Love and Respect series, which is great and I think I could watch it at least once a year, but this message hit me differently somehow.  It was overwhelmingly convicting, and challenging.  Challenging, but doable.

It's not as though I've never read this passage either.  In fact, we chose it to be part of our wedding ceremony.  How can I read something so often, study it even, and yet fail to grasp what it's calling me to be.

I could easily provide a list of resolutions.  I want to read more.  I want to draw more.  I want to cook more.  I want to work out more.  I learn to knit better.  And maybe I will do some of those things.  But choosing one?  This year, I want to learn how to to love.  I want to learn to love how my husband needs to be loved.  Maybe I won't even "accomplish" one of these traits.  But I'm sure going to work on it and pray about it.  And one day, maybe I can say that I truly and unconditionally love my husband the way God intends.

So, I suppose if I have to choose one word for myself, one trait to work toward in 2014, it is loving.  Alot goes into that, but it is what I want my aim to be.  I want to look into my own heart and mind, hopefully not getting too disgusted by what I find, and figure out what needs to change and learn how to do so.

Well, I hope you are off to a grand start for the new year.  Talk to you soon.

Aim