Arise

Over the last couple weeks, I've sat down with my computer multiple times, opened my blog, and sat, hands poised and ready, to type as soon as the muse would strike, but to no avail. I thought of absolutely nothing worth writing about.

We sang a new song in church this morning. At the end of the first slide, my eyes were beginning to swim. By the second, I found my lips were quivering. By the chorus, I was fighting back sobs, and not doing it well. (I've now been told by two people in the praise team that I need to stop that because it makes them cry too. haha)

This song hit me so hard, that it was the first thing in a couple weeks that I've felt compelled to write about. So here, courtesy de Chris Tomlin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbNK50T35wY

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God, forever

It was the "to believe again" part that really hit home for me. I started wondering, when, how, why have I doubted? I think I've doubted in any number of situations, without even knowing that I'm doing it.

How many great opportunities or even, far-fetched possibilities, have I let slip by because they seem too "out there?" At what point along the way did I stop reminding myself that "I can do all things through Christ, Who strengthens me?" (Philippians 4:13)

Earlier this week, I heard from a few teenagers who are enduring really difficult circumstances. One, has possibly lost sight in one of his eyes for good. The other is facing losing a family member to a terminal illness. Both of these teenagers were able to say that though they didn't understand what God's plan in these circumstances is, they trust Him. They believe He has plans for good in all things, even when they are painful and confusing.

If they can face that and continue to put their faith in God whole-heartedly, why don't I let myself do the same? Whether it has to do with difficult life circumstances, or life choices, or my future plans, I should be trusting fully in Him. Miracles can happen, and I can accomplish the seemingly impossible because if I ask Him, God will lead me the entire way.

Suggestion

I came to a brilliant conclusion this week.

I was driving home from work- pathetic, I know- thinking to myself about how refreshing this cooler weather has been. How I was getting excited to break out my boots and scarves.

But then I went into my house. It's quite chilly in here due to our leaving the windows open to enjoy the fresh air. Then, while reminiscing about our heavenly week in Florida and looking at my pictures, I was filled with a deep sadness as I realized that summer is quickly evaporating.

Recently, someone brought up Michael W. Smith, and Katie pointed out that he has an awesome Christmas album. Last night, I made some hot, friendship tea. Suddenly, I was ready for Christmas, and the magic that surrounds it.

However, thinking about winter, made my mind start longing for spring already. That wonderful scent of life, buds squeaking out of tree limbs, and seeing that first robin. Not to mention, breaking out the flip flops for the first time, even though it's really too cold for them.

So, my brilliant conclusion? The seasons would be perfected if they rotated on a daily or weekly basis. Maybe even monthly. I would never get tired of snow if I only had to deal with it for a month at a time. I could endure the cold. I would always want to fully utilize the sun, and not start taking it for granted at the end of the summer.

It would be perfect!

Uuuuunfortunately... I have zero power in this matter. And I don't really see any possible way to make this happen.

So, I guess I will just suck it up, and enjoy this marvelous autumn weather while I can. Hot coco and scarves? Yes please!

Trust

Last night's youth group lesson was on trust.  More specifically, it was about trusting the Bible as truth.

We broke up into our small groups and went over some discussion questions about who we trust, why we trust them and what it really means to trust.  We also talked about why we can trust the Bible.

This topic reminded me of the fact that I usually have trouble trusting people.  I don't know why, just do.  And along with being wary of trusting others, I think I'm a little leery of trusting myself.  I always second guess my abilities, my knowledge, my talents. 

Occasionally, very occasionally, I am too trusting.

Last night... I was too trusting of myself.

This year, I've decided to save money by trimming my own hair.  It's gone quite well.  I've succeeded at making my hair look and feel healthier, and a few weeks ago, I even took off a few large inches and gave myself bangs again.

Last night... something came over me.  I think that maybe when I'm stressed, or feeling anxious, I feel like doing something a little crazy.  I decided to take the scissors to my locks yet again.

Everything was going beautifully.  Not to sound proud or anything, but it was looking really cute.  Katie was watching me in awe and claimed I was her hero.  And then it happened.  I guess pride really does come before the fall because I made one wrong move, and that was it...

Before I knew what was happening, I was cutting more and more hair to try to fix my blunder.  And then... I ended up with a 70s, Beatles-looking haircut. 

I know.  How did this happen to the girl who used to be so careful when it came to her hair.  She was voted best hair in high school for Pete's sake!  I guess the long road of perms, bleach blond hair, black hair, perms, and super highlights, could only lead to such a disastrous destination. 

Needless to say, I'm going to find somewhere to get my hair altered tomorrow.

So, this is where my head and my heart are right now.  Last night, I said to my small group, "It's easy to say you trust someone or trust the Bible, but how do we put that into action?" 

Last night, I put my trust in my ability into action.  Wrongly.  The wonderful thing is, I cannot wrongly put my trust in God or His word, into action.  If I stop just saying that I trust Him, and actually put that trust, that faith into action, it will not have the negative repercussions that my snip-happy hands created.

He is always good, and always perfect, and always has my best interest at heart. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Mississippi Memories

Well, we can officially check 2 activities off of our To Do list.

Last week Katie and I helped at our first night back in high school youth group. It's too soon to tell for certain, but I have high hopes for this experience. We also went to our first football game of the season... it was hot. And let's face it, watching football is just not as fun when you don't know who's playing. So... we ducked out early to grab some DQ before heading to our first 5th Quarter of the year.

Being around all those high schoolers, those teenagers... Well first of all, it's weird that I can call them teenagers and not count myself as one of them. I feel... old. You know, I was an AWANA leader to several of those high school kids. Now they somehow seem much closer to me in age, and yet we're still very far away.

Whoa, brace yourselves. I just got bored with this topic, and I feel like changing. I'm sure we'll come back to this some day.

***

We went to Mississippi this weekend. Have I told you it's one of my all time favorite places to go? My grandparents have a fantastic, cabin-like home right on the edge of the woods. A narrow, driving trail leads down to Grandpa's fishing pond.

I wish I could explain every wonderful memory I have from Mississippi, but it's not something I can do with words. Isn't that frustrating? It's the smell. The sweet, fresh smell of a wonderful part of nature where the mud is red. And it's the smell of Grandma and Grandpa's cooking. It's the sound of hummingbird wings, and food sizzling in the kitchen, and the beep beep followed by the swish of Grandpa's alarm system followed by the door sliding over the carpet. It's the feeling of that soft, fluffy carpet in between my toes, the sloshing while crawling into the water bed, and the scruff of Grandpa's beard on my cheek when he kisses me goodnight.

But it goes beyond just sensory memories. It's memories of getting in trouble after taking rocks from the deck, of playing with My Little Ponies at bath time, of listening to Sesame Street tapes at nap time, eating homemade ice cream late at night, running to the deck to get away from Apache, relaxing, or more likely, playing in the hot tub on the deck, and catching my first fish- a tiny catfish that stung Grandpa and made his hand bleed.

Time passes, things change, but Grandma and Grandpa's house is still one of my favorite places. I still miss and look forward to pushing open a door, hearing beep beep, swish, and walking into a cloud of breakfast smells. I already can't wait til next time.

Love you Grandma and Grandpa. =)

To Do:

So Katie and I were talking, and we came to a brilliant decision. (Our minds work wonders when we put them together.)

Life is too short to simply go to school and work. We need some fun in our lives. And, since we often have a great deal of fun together, we decided to make time to have said fun together.

Unfortunately, Katie is still in school and therefore has homework. Also unfortunate, is the fact that I'm turning into an old lady and am usually able to be a complete bum as soon as I get home from work.

To counter these obstacles, we are in the process of making a To Do List.

1. Go to the Friendship Festival and eat corndogs and funnel cakes. Maybe even ride some rides!


2. Go dancing because we love it, but we never go.


3. Attend some good ole' Canton football games.


4. Help with high school youth group.


5. Try butterbeer at the Sweet Shoppe.

The preceding are just a handful of our planned escapades. But surely, you will hear about them in due time. That is, of course, if I stick to my guns when it comes to keeping this dear blog up to date. *Sigh* Well folks, that is all for tonight. Just a few, short thoughts. Farewell.