I'm beginning to enter the panic stage. (That's a real thing, right? Not just me?) Surely every parent hits that at some point, no matter which pregnancy they're experiencing.
My mind is being overrun with thoughts of are we ready for this? Two under two- what were we thinking? I've never had a newborn in winter before; how am I going to lug around a highly bundled newborn and Evelyn, wear a winter coat myself, and get out to the car without having a heatstroke? Or without falling on ice? How am I going to do store runs with two? How will I catch Evie if she decides to climb up on her music table when I'm nursing a baby or otherwise tied up? How will I get anything done with two kids and two different sleep schedules? HOW?
And perhaps the most menacing of all: how am I going to snuggle that newborn and still have enough arms to hold and snuggle and love on my big girl? DID I GIVE HER ENOUGH TIME ON HER OWN?
See what I mean? Slow down and breathe, Aimee! This has been done by billions of women, billions of times. And I'm a living testament that firstborns can turn out ok.
But in all seriousness, I'm still terrified by how much I love her. LIKE IT HURTS. When I think about how much my heart is wrapped around that little girl, it hurts. How can I do it again? Won't my heart just rip open? I don't see how it can withstand more love.
We watched an episode of Grey's recently where Maggie asks Meredith how she does it, and it is exaaactly how I feel. Watch the clip HERE instead of having me recite it for you. (And then come back to see some cute pictures of my kid, k?)
It's weird to think that anyone else has these feelings. It's as if I think my parenting experience is unique. And of course each parenting experience is unique because no two people are exactly the same, but the emotions must be universal.
Parenting is funny that way. While it's a unifying experience because you find out so many people are going/have gone through the same ups and downs, you feel at the same time that you must be the only one in the world to have ever felt this way.
Or maybe I'm the only one thinking that. Ha.
