Today I'm supposed to show you my favorite picture of myself and explain why it's my favorite.
To be honest, I initially gravitated towards photos of me with other people, thinking of the relationships represented. Whether it was Jered and the way he was looking at me, or an old family photo that reminded me of my childhood, or maybe a photo that reminded me of a fun experience- like the one of me jumping off an enormous rock into the river on a missions trip. But, I'm working on standing on my own a little more, so I decided to look for one of just me, hard as that may be.
I also, admittedly, tend to like pictures that are flattering. The ones where I think I look pretty, or fit, or tan.
But when I thought of this picture, I knew it was my favorite. It isn't the clearest. The lighting isn't the greatest. It's not the most flattering picture in the world, but it captured something I never want to forget.
It was taken moments before we headed to the parlor outside of the sanctuary. I. couldn't. wait. I was giddy at the thought of seeing Jered at the end of the aisle. Guys- I was literally jumping up and down. I was bursting. I wanted to run down that aisle and skip straight to the "I do's." (Ok, and maybe the kiss.)
And I had never been more certain of anything in my life.
I was getting ready to start a life together with a godly, loving, strong, intelligent, dedicated, respectable, sexy man. And I think this photo captures a little of how that thought affected me.
I also wanted to take the time to talk a little more about Captivating today- sorry if this gets a little lengthy.
I just read a chapter where they touched on spiritual warfare, a topic we don't think about all that often. I don't typically think about it unless I'm reading about it somewhere. The first time the subject really, really got to me was when I read This Present Darkness and Piercing the Darkness by Frank Peretti. They made me think about spiritual warfare in a whole new light.
Anyway, in Captivating, they talk about different ways that we come under attack, and the power we have when we pray in the name of Christ. It reminded me of a time during which I was reading one of those books for the first time. It was our church's Easter program, and I had a solo in the choir. (If you know me at all, you'll know that I'm even more afraid of singing in front of people than I am of speaking in front of them.)
I had managed to grow fairly comfortable with it throughout our rehearsals, but the day of the program was a different story. During the whole song before mine, I started shaking with nervousness. A paralyzing, crushing nervousness. It was intense. And weird; although I never cared for singing in front of people, this was not my first time, and I had never had a reaction like this one.
I thought of the book I had been reading. How it detailed the demons creeping into people's lives, sitting on their shoulders, digging their talons into their arms, latching on. Demons such as jealousy, anxiety, depression, pride, insecurity, and so on. And then I pictured a slithering little demon sitting on my shoulder, trying to make me nervous and distracting me from the message we were trying to share with the congregation through music.
So I decided to do what they did in the book. I prayed in the name of Jesus Christ that any demons there would be sent away. That I would be freed from their grasp.
It was amazing; I literally felt the weight come off.
Now, I tend to land more on the cynical side and think people with stories like that are exaggerating or reading into something too much. You know what I mean? But I can honestly say that I believe I felt God work in me that day.
Captivating specifically details how spiritual warfare can be aimed at destroying relationships. She talked about lies she started believing in their marriage, and how when she and her husband prayed over them they were able to see the truth. She also discussed ways she felt under attack physically, and it made me think of a similar problem in my own life.
I get alot of headaches. The worst ones are fairly routine. (You know, hormone related.) However, it seems that whenever Jered and I have major plans, I get a headache.
One time, we were heading home a little early from hanging out with our friends in Chicago, and he turned to me and said, "You know what I think? I think Satan is giving you headaches to try to make us fight." (He obviously was getting quite tired of me not feeling well half the time we wanted to hang out with people.)
I think he's absolutely right, and I'm not sure why we haven't prayed about it more. His insight that night struck me. It made so much sense, but I had just assumed my headaches were a natural part of life. But as Stasi says in the book, "It's amazing what we will live with because we think it's normal when it is not."
Almost done.
I always just thought of spiritual warfare as an unfortunate result of sin, and I suppose that's partially true, but the awesome thing about our God is that He can create beauty and goodness out of the ugliest parts of life.
I also wanted to take the time to talk a little more about Captivating today- sorry if this gets a little lengthy.
I just read a chapter where they touched on spiritual warfare, a topic we don't think about all that often. I don't typically think about it unless I'm reading about it somewhere. The first time the subject really, really got to me was when I read This Present Darkness and Piercing the Darkness by Frank Peretti. They made me think about spiritual warfare in a whole new light.
Anyway, in Captivating, they talk about different ways that we come under attack, and the power we have when we pray in the name of Christ. It reminded me of a time during which I was reading one of those books for the first time. It was our church's Easter program, and I had a solo in the choir. (If you know me at all, you'll know that I'm even more afraid of singing in front of people than I am of speaking in front of them.)
I had managed to grow fairly comfortable with it throughout our rehearsals, but the day of the program was a different story. During the whole song before mine, I started shaking with nervousness. A paralyzing, crushing nervousness. It was intense. And weird; although I never cared for singing in front of people, this was not my first time, and I had never had a reaction like this one.
I thought of the book I had been reading. How it detailed the demons creeping into people's lives, sitting on their shoulders, digging their talons into their arms, latching on. Demons such as jealousy, anxiety, depression, pride, insecurity, and so on. And then I pictured a slithering little demon sitting on my shoulder, trying to make me nervous and distracting me from the message we were trying to share with the congregation through music.
So I decided to do what they did in the book. I prayed in the name of Jesus Christ that any demons there would be sent away. That I would be freed from their grasp.
It was amazing; I literally felt the weight come off.
Now, I tend to land more on the cynical side and think people with stories like that are exaggerating or reading into something too much. You know what I mean? But I can honestly say that I believe I felt God work in me that day.
Captivating specifically details how spiritual warfare can be aimed at destroying relationships. She talked about lies she started believing in their marriage, and how when she and her husband prayed over them they were able to see the truth. She also discussed ways she felt under attack physically, and it made me think of a similar problem in my own life.
I get alot of headaches. The worst ones are fairly routine. (You know, hormone related.) However, it seems that whenever Jered and I have major plans, I get a headache.
One time, we were heading home a little early from hanging out with our friends in Chicago, and he turned to me and said, "You know what I think? I think Satan is giving you headaches to try to make us fight." (He obviously was getting quite tired of me not feeling well half the time we wanted to hang out with people.)
I think he's absolutely right, and I'm not sure why we haven't prayed about it more. His insight that night struck me. It made so much sense, but I had just assumed my headaches were a natural part of life. But as Stasi says in the book, "It's amazing what we will live with because we think it's normal when it is not."
Almost done.
I always just thought of spiritual warfare as an unfortunate result of sin, and I suppose that's partially true, but the awesome thing about our God is that He can create beauty and goodness out of the ugliest parts of life.
"He uses spiritual warfare in our lives to strengthen our faith,
to draw us closer to him, to train us for the roles we are meant to play,
to encourage us to play those roles, and to prepare us for our future at his side."
"Much of what he allows in your life is not for you to simply accept,
but to get you to rise up! God wants you to know how to wield the weapons of warfare,
how to take a stand, and how to fight."
Cool, yeah? We have an important role to play, and He wants us to to be fully prepared and ready for it, and while He teaches us how to do so, He's going to draw us into a closer relationship with Him.
That was a little long, but I hope those thoughts will encourage you and empower you like they did for me.
Talk to you later,
Aim
No comments:
Post a Comment