I've been feeling very adult lately. I suppose the catalyst was getting married, but I'm not just talking about having a home, fixing dinner, and living in the "real world."
First: As I mentioned in my last letter, I watched full football games. And actually followed them. If you don't know me well- this is a big deal. The only time I really watched a game... and really followed it, was probably the last Super Bowl... Let's be honest, when I watched Jered play football, I was just watching him. Can't you see why?
Second: Jered and I have been watching the Cardinal playoff games without Dad taking control of the remote. That's right, all on our own, we have been cheering them on and more recently, were very frustrated with them. (Ok, maybe I shouldn't speak for Jered in this matter, but it goes for me.)
Third: This is a jaw dropper people. Jered and I have watched all three of political debates. On our own. And though, I got lost in their wordiness sometimes, I paid attention. If you know me well at all, you know I "hate, loathe, despise, and abominate" political stuff. (That quote is from Meet Me in St. Louis by the way. Gosh, I love Judy Garland in that. If you haven't seen it- you need to.)
Ok, back to the political debate. (Don't worry- I'm not going to start writing all about the debates and election until it's over. I'm tired enough of seeing the TV ads and everyone's status on Facebook. This is just a short little diddy.) My opinion of the debates, or politics in general: they are going to say whatever they think we want to hear. We aren't really going to know what they stand for until they are in office and show us. K- that's it on my political opinions.
More importantly, the debates revealed a truth about my personality. It's one I knew already, but boy, it came out incredibly strong during the debate: I hate conflict. The second one of them starts bashing the other, or they interrupt each other, or tell the moderator they have more time when they don't, I feel incredibly awkward. Imagine how uncomfortable I was last night during that intense hour and a half!
I kind of wish I had a chance to be the moderator though... In my dreams, I would just shout over them: "Now listen here! You have to be quiet now and let me speak! NEW TOPIC!" I may be a typically quiet girl, but I get real tired of hearing grown ups act like children.
Whew, so other than that, this is the heaviness that's been on my mind lately:
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
Ephesians 6:14&15
Pastor Rich spoke on this passage when Jered and I visited home last week, and it stuck with me. He specifically covered the breastplate of righteousness that day. When he spoke of goodness, he stated that as God's creation, we are meant to be and do good.
You might remember from a special episode of Boy Meets World, that Corey, Topanga, Shaun, and Eric went to visit Mr. Feeney in their old classroom before going out into the real world. They asked him if he had any more advice for them. He gave them some advice and then said, "Do good." Topanga, being a brilliant English student asked him, "Don't you mean 'do well'?" He told her again, "Do good."
This scene always sticks with me as a reminder that we are to do good. Mr. Feeney wasn't mistaken in his grammar. It's Feeney! He knows better than that. I don't want to speak for his religious beliefs, but Mr. Feeney knew that we aren't just here to learn and work and earn money. That we have a higher calling. According to Pastor Rich's sermon, a follower of Christ should be eager to do good.
Something else that really resonated with me, was that when my heart is right with God, I have a divine protection over my heart from evil. I think this came from a quote, but I didn't get it all written down fast enough: The Christian way is not the middle way between extremes; it is the narrow way- walking all of life with God.
Gosh, I just keep thinking of how often I fall short.
The sermon continued to explain what motivation we have to put on the breastplate of righteousness: the love of God, the will of God, protection from evil (the evil one), and a better life. Seems like it should be pretty good motivation, but I don't want to think about how many times I choose to leave out this part of my attire.
Pastor Rich gave us another way to think about all of this. We often ask, "How have you seen God working in your life?" We don't usually ask this though: "Have you seen the work of the devil in your life?" Gooollyy. That's harder to admit. One way he pointed out the devil works is through fear. He also pointed out that fears change throughout your life, and that he currently has fears over his life having any real meaning.
That struck a cord with me. It's easy to think that I still have alot of years ahead of me, but I don't know that's true. That scares me. What if I haven't done anything of real worth? What if I haven't changed anyone's life in a deep, meaningful, lasting way? How depressing. Kind of makes you want to have an It's a Wonderful Life experience, doesn't it?
So I guess, that in my growing up, I'm starting to have grown up fears. But I also know that fear and doubt are not of my God. And I also have this wonderful peace and hope that Pastor Rich shared:
"God does not love us because we are good, but to make us so."
Well, in case you weren't sure, this is the serious stuffing I left out last time. And with that, I am off, to cook up something for dinner.
Goodbye,
Aim
No comments:
Post a Comment