Don't Tell My Husband That It's Actually My Fault

Hi.

The husband is on the mend.  He made it to work today, so things are looking up.  He even ate a whole pancake for dinner last night.

I was feeling spontaneous last night and said, "Hey- do you wanna pull the futon mattress out here and camp out in the living room tonight?"  I now regret my crazy-fun side because Jered is very obliging and we did end up sleeping in the living room, and it was no where near as comfortable for me as it was a few months ago.  Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Well, I finished Don't Waste Your Life a couple days ago, and I have to say it was a bit of a struggle.  If I had to sum up my feelings about it: good message, but repetitive and wordy.  It seemed that Mr. Piper could have said what he came to say in about half the pages, but instead it just kept going.

I really appreciate that he dedicated a chapter to encouraging people who work in the "secular" job world.  As a church brat, I've felt before, I'm sure along with others, that more emphasis or praise was given to people who dedicate their lives to mission work.  Piper points out that the mission field is everywhere, and that if we don't have a heart for people in our own community, we can't possibly have a true heart for people elsewhere.

I certainly found several other convicting points throughout the pages though.

All in all, worth a read.  If you don't already have it- you can get it for only a penny plus shipping on Amazon... in case you're curious.

I started Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before and After You Marry two nights ago, and I plan to finish it tonight.  

This is a much quicker read, with tons of application possibilities.  (You can also order a workbook to go along with it, but we don't have that.  I'm not really sure where this book came from actually.)  Each chapter has discussion questions at the end in case you go through it with your spouse/soon to be spouse.

Let me just tell you, it's not always a fun read because if you're like me you will be feeling convicted over what they're saying.  Things like: you're spouse isn't the reason you're upset.  You're the reason you're upset.  You have control over your emotions, not them.  Blah. Blah. Blah.  I want to read that I can blame Jered for doing things that make me angry- not that it's probably a deeper rooted problem in my own heart, darnit...

It's definitely a good means to taking a deeper look at yourself.  For instance, last night I was reading about how it is on me to decide if I am going be a happy person or a negative one.  Our circumstances and other people don't determine our outlook; we have to make a conscious effort to do that.  This is true in all areas of life- even the ones not directly related to our marriage.  However, if we allow ourselves to become negative about those unrelated areas, it will seep into our marriage because it's become a habit.  Hmm... Who slipped that mirror into my book?

Darn-it-all again.

I've known I had this tendency for years, but didn't really see how effective it could be.  Probably because, like it says in the book, the negative people try to rationalize it as being realistic.  

It seems to me that this idea is making itself known to me at just the right time because we're facing something this summer that I really don't want to be happy about.  I should be because it's important for people we love, but it's going to be haaaard.  And I know that my instinct is going to be to wallow in self-pity.  And to cry.  A lot.  Like I almost am now.

However, I'm going to do my best to look at the positive side of it all.  It will be a great experience for them...  Jered and I will be stretched...

Ok, it might take me some time to get a positive list going, but like the phrase my good friend sister is striving to live out, I will try to learn to season the season.

Talk to you later,

Aim