I drove through melted snow today, and despite the ever darkening splattered windows to my car, it was stupendous. While I am thankful for the beautiful weather today, I'm a little disappointed that I live in an area that is experiencing a winter where thirty-seven degrees feels delightfully warm.
Well, Ima link you up again to something I read this morning. It felt like exactly what I needed to read today, hitting on some feelings I've been experiencing, but hadn't put my finger on yet. It's a long read, but a good one.
I feel like I have roughly four months to get myself together. I know this is impossible and that in reality I'm going to learn more about myself during the events that take place after that period of time than I will before, but it doesn't stop this desire that's sprung up in me recently.
One of the goals I set for myself for this year is to read through all the devotional books I haven't gone through yet. Some of them have been sitting on my bookshelves for years, and I just ordered some last summer that are about art, creativity and how those relate to and are influenced by our relationship with God, the original and ultimate creator.
Yesterday I ordered this devotional after reading about it HERE.
It seemed like something that will fit in well for this season of life. I even splurged and got the complete set with the journal included. I'm hoping maybe it will give some added direction and spur on my thoughts more than just reading.
Back to the feels- I feel like I need to take control of my time because before too long it won't be just my own. Jered and I have both talked about getting up an hour earlier to get a more balanced breakfast and a devotional, maybe even a walk in. I actually really like doing that stuff in the morning; it's just that my snooze button is so stinking alluring in the dark comfort of my bed.
I loved that blog post linked at the top because much of it had to do with owning who you are, to strive to find out about yourself rather than going along with what is expected. When I started to think about that, I wondered how much of what I do, say, wear, you name it, is grounded in what is expected or popular. If I were to go all out and do what I felt like, to focus on what I'm passionate about, what would that even look like?
Jered likes to ask me about my ambitions and passions. I kind of hate it when he does. He did it last night, and I always start to question myself. Is there anything? What drives me? What truly excites me? I start to get this terrible feeling that I don't know at all and that I've just been along for a ride.
When I read that post this morning, and when I read about that devotional yesterday, I started to feel that fire. It's when I'm reading blogs by creative women, when I see art, when I read something inspirational. My heart rate increases and my mind gets going- I don't always know where it's going, but it is moving nonetheless.
In the next few months, I want to focus on giving those thoughts the attention they need to thrive and blossom. I want to grow and expand my creativity and get into better habits, so that once life changes and it's a bazillion times harder to keep up with those habits, I will at least know they are there to get back to. I'm excited about this new devotional because I honestly wouldn't normally think of myself as either a dreamer or a doer, and it's about time that changed.
In other news, our due date was pushed back today. Baby J's new due date is June 4, and I'm going to sound silly saying that I'm a little disappointed that the size of my belly is for a 20 week baby instead of a 21 week baby. I know that's not important. What's important is the good bill of health we received and the confirmation that Baby J is growing like he/she should be.
Just look at how good-looking our kid is! We made that. No big deal.
Except it is! Look at those tiny little guns and that button nose! We're hoping Baby J has my fingers and toes and a mixture of our hair. Looking at these just make me so amazed at the might of God. Wow wow wow. Look at that tiny human inside me! I am so thankful for the advancements in technology and medicine that allow us to see Baby J. Majorly cool.
Well, it's time for me to start winding down. Have a good night!
Aim
Aaaaamazing!
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