Pink, Blue, and Purple

Hi.

Lately I've been feeling a little ashamed...  Disappointed in myself...  Pitching a tent in the land of denial... all because I've been getting antsy for fall and, don't shun me, winter.  Ok, maybe not winter with the cold and the snow, but winter with the Christmas and holiday goodness.

Typically, I mostly just mourn the loss of my tan when fall hits.  I know, I'm completely shallow, but I really enjoy not having transparent skin.  Plus I really love reading by the pool.  I do love fall.  It's magical, but I think with working a grown up job and not having as much free time to enjoy in the sun during the summer, I want it to last as long as possible.

However, this week has turned the tables on me.  Want to know why?  I figured such.

It's been rainy and chilly and Jered was home two nights in a row.  (Yay!)  On top of that he said, "This weather makes me feel more lovey."

Fall is my new BFF!  (Although if it could stay in the above sixty degree zone for just a little longer, that would be nice.)

I've been dubbed a fishing widow, which I guess is a common expression in the fishing world.  I probably make it a bigger deal than it is, but I really enjoy hanging out with my husband, and he's spent many an evening fishing this summer.  So I'm kind of jumping for joy at the prospect of him being home more often.

Since we're on the subject of the husband...

Sometimes I feel a little guilty that Jered is always in danger of having moments of our lives shared in our letters.  Then I think, "Eh.  He grew up a pastor's kid, so he's probably used to that."  Aren't all pastors' families aware that their lives could be used as anecdotes during sermons on any given Sunday?  Obviously this is no sermon and I am no pastor, but you know what I mean.

So I'm not going to quit.

Well, he came home from work on Sunday afternoon and expressed that he wanted to take me out on the boat for a romantic dinner and evening, just the two of us.  We were going to grill and chat all night.

I was a bit skeptical, and said, "Uh huh, and I'm sure this has nothing to do with the fact that you said we'd hang out tonight, but you really want to fish."

"Well, I might throw out a line..."

I didn't bother to take a book with me because I thought we would be chatting... like he said.  However, throwing out a line apparently means that you have to cast out lines constantly for the first hour to try to catch live bait.  And sit in silence so as not to scare the fish away while the husband tries to catch them.  (Be sure to update "throwing out a line" in your mental thesaurus for next time your husband takes you out on the lake, k?)  So, for the first hour on the boat we exchanged about five words total.

To me, romantic and relaxing have two different meanings.  Not that we can't relax while having a romantic evening.  Not that we can't enjoy the beautiful, peaceful surroundings of the lake while having a romantic evening.  Those would both be wonderful parts of a romantic evening.  However, in my brain, sitting in silence to enjoy those peaceful surroundings does not equal romance.

It will probably shock you to find out that I didn't handle the situation gracefully.  Angry words were exchanged at one point, but by the end of the night we were both able to better explain our thought processes.  I can see that he was delusional and thought he was being romantic.

The greatest arguments are the ones you can laugh during.  We continued the romantic evening disagreement and have been able to laugh during it, which is why I feel comfortable calling him delusional.  It's in love.  During one of our first fights while dating, Jered stuttered, mispronounced a word, or something like that, and I burst out laughing.  It turned into our best fight because the tension was instantly broken and we were able to talk at ease.  (I judge the value of an argument by the resolutions we are able to come to.  I don't want you thinking I like a good fight- I actually loathe confrontation.)

Anyway, it took me awhile to realize that Jered's idea of romantic and mine are just different.  I did make a point of explaining that his plan had great potential.  Food - good.  Lake - good.  Moonlight - good.  Remember the scene in The Jungle Book where Bagheera and Baloo are discussing Mogli and assessing their bruises in the water?  Remember how pretty the moon looked and the reflection of it and the jungle on the water?  That's how it looked on the lake.  Beautiful.

I guess it just comes down to the pink and blue ways of thinking.  It's such an easy concept to understand, but so hard to live with and adapt to sometimes.  I also think that sometimes I expect Jered to take the lead in the romantic gesture department, but that's not really fair, is it?

Oh well.  This is just one little chapter in a big imaginary book I'll write someday on misunderstandings and differences in expectations we've had in our marriage.  It's a good thing we have so many years to learn from past mistakes and try to combine our ways of thinking just a bit.

Talk to you later,

Aim