What I Do

Hi.

I've missed two days, but here we go- back to the writing challenge.  Day six of the challenge is to share what you do.  To be fair, the prompt says, "If you can't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'What do you do?'"

Let's be honest.  I spend an inordinate amount of time at work watching TV shows, and when I do have work to do, it's not work that I would want to use to describe my life.

I started thinking, what can I say I do?  Keeping up with the honesty, all I could think of were negative things, and I feel as though these letters have been self-deprecating enough recently.  (Seriously- I instantly came up with five things I'm not proud of at all that I would use to describe what I do routinely.)  So I've been brainstorming a lot about what I do that I'm proud of.

Insert chirping crickets here.

This would be much easier if I stuck with the self-deprecating way of thinking.

(At this point in my letter, I quit.  

Later in the evening I told my Jered 

about my predicament. 

 So, the rest of this letter is written

 a day later than the first portion.)

My husband, after asking me to repeat what I said because he didn't listen the first time, took almost no time at all to tell me what it is that I do.

He gestured around our apartment and to me and said I try to be the best wife I can be.

And I was stunned.  "But I'm constantly failing."

Then he made some adorable reference to Einstein or somebody failing thousands of times before they got it right, but the point is that they kept trying until they got it.

I like to think that I do try to be a better wife.  I try to make our apartment nice, not too frilly, and work in aspects of life that Jered enjoys.  I try to cook meals he will like.  I try to make sure he always has clean boxers.  I try to make sure our apartment is picked up and our clothes are put away.  I try to encourage him.  I try to take care of myself.  I try to look presentable when we go out together so he can feel proud to have me at his side.

It is what I do.  And sometimes, probably more often than I would like to admit, I do it with selfish intentions.  I do it hoping for his recognition, for some desired behavior in return.  And sometimes, hopefully more and more every day, I do it because I. love. that. man.

Unfortunately, sometimes the areas in which I try to be a good wife aren't the ways that he needs.  (You know- like the love languages- if it's not your love language being spoken, you may not appreciate it as much.)  Jered couldn't care less whether or not his clothes are overflowing out of his dresser drawers.  Why waste my time taking care of it?  It's just going to upset me and won't make any difference to him.

But the point is, that I do try.  And I will keep trying.  And my husband, bless his soul, notices.  I can't tell you what his statement spoke to the depths of my heart.

That's it for today.  Talk to you later.

Aim