Humiliating History

Good morning.

The mister and I got to babysit our precious niece last night.  She is so stinking cute.  I grabbed a video of her watching Jered play his harmonica- Lily: the Harmonica Critic.  She used to start crying every time he played it.  This time she didn't cry, but I don't think she's quite convinced on the merit of the harmonica.

Well, day ten.  Oh boy.  Today I get to spill my most embarrassing moments.


I've got a couple for you.
The first one I remember was when I was in junior high, I think.  My cousins and I were playing at the church while Grandma and Grandpa had worship practice or something.  Drew was giving me a piggyback ride, and we were heading inside.  He backed into the door to push it open since his hands weren't free, and when he walked away from the door, the back pocket of my shorts caught the door handle.    Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.
Giant, 7-shaped rip all across the back of my shorts.  I mean, the entire width of one cheek and all the way down to the hem, underpants showing in all their glory.  To make matters worse, a few kids from school were hanging out at the church as well.  
We had to duct tape my shorts back together.  I think we may have tried staples, but that didn't work.  You also have to realize that these were brand new shorts, and I probably only had a couple pairs anyway.    The second one was during freshman year of high school.  In P.E.  We were playing wiffle ball in the gym.  Understand that I hated P.E. to the depths of my soul.  The only thing that made it bearable was having two friends in class with me, but on this day, we got split up.    Anyway, we would get in trouble if we threw the bat; we had to set it down.  Obviously, my biggest fear when stepping up to the plate was actually hitting the ball.  So imagine my elation when I hit it well the first time (of course, I played it off like it was no big deal).  I started to run, went to set down the bat, and somehow managed to trip over it.  I did the most spectacular somersault/roll and ended up sprawled out on the floor, hearing my friends in the outfield laughing their heads off.    I wanted to crawl into a hole. and. die.
Looking back, neither of these moments seem so bad, but then I take into account that they occurred during junior high and high school, and I'm mortified all over again.
These days, my most embarrassing moments tend to be when I can't control my emotions in front of people.  Those moments when I can't keep the tears at bay.  I guess that started several years back.  A few years ago I had an interview at my church (I think it was to go on a missions trip) and I started bawling for some reason.  Sobbing.  Sometimes when the hormones are raging, the dumbest things can set me off, and the more I tell myself not to cry, the more my lips quiver, my eyes fill, and my cheeks burn.
I hope you've gotten a chuckle out my misfortune.  I finally can.    Later, Aim