My Area of Expertise

Hello.

On to Day #2 of the writing challenge?  Well, sure!  (Again, you can find the challenge by clicking on the picture link below.)

You are in luck; the writing prompt for today is educating you on something I am very knowledgeable about, or good at.  Prepare to enjoy my vast knowledge.  *Cheesy smile and a wink* (Think Professor Lockhart)

The description says that I can be educational, funny, or sarcastic.

Let's see...

Cooking?  No.

Public speaking?  HA.

Umm. Anything I learned in school?  Already too long ago.

Nutrition or health?  My apologies to my former employers at the gym, I did not pick up enough to consider myself able to educate.  And Jered can speak for my nutritional weaknesses.

Being the model of a working housewife?  Don't look at my apartment right now.  Especially the fridge.

Art or writing?  Well, even though I love both, I hardly think I am qualified to be an educator on either topic.

So what is left?

I guess I can tell you that I am the resident expert on overreacting and taking things personally.  I think my husband will attest to and appreciate this post.  This is for you, Love.

My hands just started sweating profusely.  Coincidence?  I suppose this is taking us back to the "confessions" origin of this blog.

See him there?  Although he knows the ability of overreacting I possess, he is always blissfully unaware of which words will stimulate my evil powers.

All he has to do is start a sentence with, "You should"  or "Why don't you," and it is enough for me to think he is attacking my entire person.  That I am not doing or being what I should.  That there is something I should change or improve.  That I am an utter failure.

"Why don't you go running today?"  That simple question suggests (in my wacky head) that I am lazy and overweight, while he is just thinking about how it will energize me and allow me to enjoy nice weather.

"You should try my mom's recipe" equals "I hate everything you cook."  (Even though I completely understand wanting meals that I grew up loving.)

Another way I overreact is through my uncanny habit of firing back with something he does that I don't like if he brings up a fault of mine.  Seriously.  I'm like a machine gun.  Bambambambambambambambambam!

"Don't pull the car up so far.  You'll scrape the sidewalk."
"You do it too!"

"Why didn't you get such and such at the store?"
"Well, maybe if you would go instead, you could get what you want!"

"Could you put the DVD back in the case from now on?"
"Well, you have stuff lying all around the apartment."

See what I mean?  Totally irrational, totally overreacting, totally unloving.

If I write to him in our shared journal, and he doesn't write back, I instantly think he doesn't care about our relationship.  If he wants me to listen to a song that he thinks is catchy, and it happens to be about an unhappy couple, I wonder if he is relating to the lyrics.  He says a girl's name and BAM!  He's interested in her.  The list goes on and on.  And on.  These powers are superhuman, I tell you.

Sometimes all it takes is a look from me after something he says, and he replies sarcastically with, "And I meant to attack you as a person."  He knows this weakness I have for taking innocent words, assuming the worst, and taking them as a personal hit.

Honestly, this is barely skimming the surface of my horrible expertise.

I wish I was explaining my extensive knowledge of how to overcome these... insecurities.  I suppose that's what it really boils down to.  But I'm not.  Admitting them to all of you still won't be enough to make me stop.  I know how foolish it is, but I can't seem to shake these superhuman powers!

Maybe one day I will be able to tell you that I've overcome that and have become an expert at seeing how my husband truly sees me.  That I am the only woman he loves.  That he thinks I'm beautiful even when I have zit cream on my face (maybe funny looking, but still his beautiful wife).  That he enjoys spending time with me even if he needs a guys' night.  That I am the one he wants to grow old with.  Even as I write this, I feel those doubts creeping in, fogging the edges of my heart, where I know better.

Thankfully, I have a patient husband.  A ridiculously patient husband.

Well, I hope you've gotten a laugh at my expense (I promise not to take it personally) over my area of expertise, and possibly some reassurance that you're not alone if you happen to be blessed cursed with the same abilities.

Until next time,

Aim