I hope you're doing well today. Have I mentioned how much of an old lady I feel like these days? During my extended vacation from real life, I have taken up watching Perry Mason and the Price is Right every morning. Today, a guy missed out on a $98,000 Porsche.
Anyway, yesterday I had intended to write to you about what God's been teaching me recently, but as I told you yesterday, I was too emotional already.
You may or may not know that Jered works weird hours. Half of the week he has a 7 to 3pm shift, and the other half of the week is 3 to 11pm. This makes routine difficult. It also means that when he has to wake up early, he wants to go to bed early, and when he works late, he wants to sleep late. Add to that the fact that on the days he has an evening free, he often wants to play basketball or lift, and in my mind, our valuable time together starts to dwindle.
I used to think that my love language was physical touch. And I still think that is near the top of the list for me. However, one thing I've learned about myself this year is that quality time is the winner in my book. The problem lies not necessarily in how much time we spend together, but the quality of what time we have. It doesn't always cut it if we're plopped in front of the TV or browsing the internet during our time together.
I think of how much better I feel when I have that quality time. How necessary it is for me. How hurt I feel if Jered, through no fault of his own, doesn't get that because he has a different love language. That brings me to another relationship.
Lately, I've been thinking about how absent my daily walk with God is. I see Him working in our lives. I see answered prayers. I see the blessings. But, I have been severely neglecting my personal time with Him. And I get so frustrated at the fact that I'm doing to Him, the same thing that I hate having done to me. Only, my fault in this is much worse. (See, whereas Jered thinks all time together is quality time, therefore believing he's fulfilling that need, I'm just flat out, not spending time with God.)
So, you might ask, where is all of this coming from?
Well, Sunday's message was on forward movement. How we are to embrace the life of the cross. One way of saying this, that struck a chord in me, was this: Religion supplements our lives, but God transforms them.
"Now isn't that always the way? The books you read in class always seem to have some strong connection with whatever angsty, adolescent drama is going on." Get the reference?
Or, in a more church-like scenario, the message always has to do with what God's been laying on your heart? He gets me every time! He always seems to get those tough ones lined up, doesn't He?
I came across this great quote I had written in my Bible quite a while ago, toward the end of the service on Sunday.
The Bible is alive, it speaks to me;
it has feet, it runs after me;
it has hands, it lays hold on me.
Martin Luther
It's true, right? But I somehow manage to ignore it? Is that the right word? It's not that I'm doing it on purpose. I love getting into the Word, but I "don't have time" for it? When all I seem to have right now is time. Bah- despicable me...
The part I really, seriously, cannot understand, is that it's always so much better when I am in the Word regularly. When God is the center. Why then, is is such a struggle? Well, I'm praying that I'm riled up enough now to make a change. A lasting change.
You know, the message was based on "Forward Movement," but when I went to title my letter, "forward motion" came out... I guess it's the same message... It just came from a seemingly silly song about ten years ago... Allow me to take you back to THIS.
Well, I need to get some cleaning up done around this place, and go for a jog... but I think before I do anything else, I'm going to dive into my Bible for a bit. Send a prayer up for this girl.
Happy Tuesday!
Aim
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