My Voice

Dear reader,

No, this isn't about my actual voice.  Although, you should know, that in my head, when I wrote that, I totally heard Ariel asking Ursula about her payment.

I'm referring to my writing voice.  You may remember recently I was raving about the blog from which I was looking for apartment ideas.

Well, one of her posts wasn't about what she was doing or making, but how she felt she was struggling to find her blogging voice.  She didn't yet feel comfortable with any certain style.

That thought really resonated with me because I think I have these delusions of grandeur about what my writing will be like next the next time I write a letter. 

I think to myself, "Oh, I know just how I want to word that."  Or, "How can I best describe this experience, so that people will really feel what I felt?"

Then, of course, I sit down to actually do the writing, and it doesn't come out the way I plan.  I would love to have a themed blog, where every time I write, it's somehow tied to everything else I've written.  Is that so much to ask?

A big contributing factor, I believe, is that I just don't dedicate as much time to a letter as I used to.  I used to plan.  Sometimes, if a phrase popped into my head, or even a word, that I just knew I had to use in a letter, I would jot it down.  Whereas, more recently, I've sat down and nearly done a stream of consciousness type of writing.

I have this idea in my head that I don't want to write just for the sake of posting a letter, but to write something meaningful.  I guess, selfishly and unrealistically, I'd like each letter to be a real gem.  But let's face it, that's not probable. 

Something else I resonated with in that blog post, was that she often felt embarrassed or shy about her posts when someone would mention them to her.  It's nice to know people read, but I've never been a limelight kind of person, and whether or not it shows, I feel like I blush terribly anytime someone addresses me about it.

One of my favorite comments I've received, was from you, Rebekah.  You told me that you felt I was writing to you, personally.  That's exactly what I want.  I want each of you to feel like I am writing specifically to you.  I guess, if I think that way, then I don't need to look for my voice anymore.  It's just how I would talk to you in person.

Hmm...  Maybe a little rambly today.  My apologies.  Do any of you, writers, have similar feelings when you write?  I'd be interested to hear how you've developed your voice.

Well, until next time, friend,

Aim