Feeling Pretty Blessed

Dear friend,

Head's up- this might be lengthy...

Does it ever shock you at how many emotions or memories a song can stir up in you?  I don't know if it's that way for everyone, but if you want to cut me to the core and get to my heart as quick as possible, find a song to do the talking. 

First- I have to confess that I had notes written in church to be the basis of this letter, but I am sans my Bible right now, and thus sans notes.  I'm going off of an emotion saturated memory.

Maybe I should start by telling you that Jered and I spent the majority of the last week with my family, and in addition to the great time we enjoy while there, I also feel that returning to my home church is a highlight of my time in town.

This week was no exception, and as you may have guessed, it centers greatly around God's use of music to tap into my head and heart.  First of all, the worship song we sang at our wedding happens to be on the playlist almost every. single. time. we go home.  Mom has assured me that they only play it when we are there, which is always randomly scheduled.


Needless to say- every time we sing it, I tear up, and this week was no different- especially as I held on to Jered's arm and felt it break out in goosebumps during the song.

It didn't stop there though.  It's difficult for me to go to my home church and not think of Mike.  After all, he wasn't just a friend, but our Pastor for many years- many years that made up the biggest part of my becoming an adult- a Christian by my own beliefs and convictions.  His ministry shaped my character more than he would ever know.

As I sat in the service, our new Pastor's style- the way he calls up missionaries to share and asks how he can pray for them, asks people to share testimonies on the spot, his messages- really stood out to me.  I found myself thinking, "This is good.  Our church is going to be ok.  He is going to help hearts heal.  He is going to continue on Mike's ministry for the Lord."

We took communion, and I was feeling quite convicted over the caliber of my wifeliness.  (I just made that word up right this second.)  So I was already turning quite emotional over that, when the song started.  I knew it right away before they started singing.  I don't know if you remember, but I've written about it before HERE.

Here are the full lyrics:

Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are a fortress for the weak


Let faith arise
Let faith arise


I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever
 
Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Pure grace that washes over me


So let faith arise
Let faith arise
Open my eyes
Open my eyes


I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever 

This song meant so much to me last time we sang it.  I was trying to reestablish my trust in God- that He knew best.  Our church body was staring death in the face as it threatened to take one we loved.  And this week, it struck me so strongly because of that memory, and the realization that God was carrying us through that hard time and is still carrying us as we continue to heal. 

The next song was Amazing Grace.  Pastor Bill asked us to stand and hold hands across the aisles, to sing it as one church body.  The last time I remember doing that was at Mike's memorial service.  It was the first time we, as a church, had met in the new sanctuary, and we sang it a Capella.  And as we sang it, I had this overwhelming feeling that we had survived.  That my home church was in the hands of a Pastor that God had ordained for such a time as this.

In case you didn't know, friend, I am a major crier.  I tried, but couldn't hold back the overpowering emotions.  And if this wasn't the epitome of the conclusions I had just come to- I don't know what is:  Pastor Bill made his way through the front of the congregation, and came right over to me, and prayed for me.  He had no idea that I was crying because of how blessed I felt because of God placing him in our lives.  I was sad, thinking about Mike and how I missed him, but I was also feeling unbelievably blessed at God's provision.

Whew- speaking of being a crier- I'm trying not to right now, so I will move on.

Here were some more highlights of our week at home:

Spending time at The Farm with family

Fireworks with Kate and Jered

 

Birthday dinner and a movie with my favorite family

 

Saw our precious flowergirls- two of them wearing their dresses

Looking matchy-matchy for church 

(I don't know why this is all being spaced out so strangely. Sorry bout that.)

Anyway- it was a great week.  If you aren't living at home with your family right now- isn't it weird how every time you go back it feels like no time has passed and it's no less home than before?  

Well my friend, I am done for now.  I will talk to you later.

Aim