Her Birthday Eve

It's here.

Well, almost.  Practically.

Exactly one year ago, I was sitting at work, thinking this baby was going to make me wait.  I walked for forty-five minutes of my hour lunch break, talking to my mom on the phone about how my sunless tanner was dripping down my elbows because my elbow "pits" were sweating from holding my phone.  I stared in disbelief at the unrecognizable ankles and feet attached to my body when I got back.

That evening I went to Molly's for dinner and a movie.  We went for a walk before the girls went to bed.  My normal contractions increased a bit in frequency and intensity.  As I headed out, she told me she would pray for the baby to come that night.

I started the new episodes of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix (they would end up being my go-to to take my mind off painful nursing experiences) that night before bed, and decided to time my contractions... until I fell asleep.  Before bed, Jered said his only wish was that J wouldn't come in the middle of the night.

J apparently always had a mind of her own.  Here's the timeline.

 

Anyway, I've been feeling nostalgic, but haven't really had the time to sit and soak it all up the way I'd like.  Maybe this weekend I can sit and make my way through pictures and videos and old blog posts.

That baby.

We woke her up in the middle of the night last night.  (Well, the middle of her night.)  I just missed her.  I wanted to hold her.  So, we went in and rubbed her back until she sat right up.  She snuggled into each of us, we gave her kisses, and Jered rocked her back to sleep.

She didn't change us.  People say that having a kid will change you.  Molly already figured it out- they reveal more of you.  Evelyn has just made parts of our personalities clearer.  She's helped me learn about pieces of me I didn't know existed.

A year ago, I felt completely inept.  I didn't feel prepared.  Shortly before I got pregnant, I was even having serious doubts about having kids... at all.

Evelyn showed me that I'm stronger than I thought I was.  I can do harder things than I thought I could.  I'm more capable than I thought I was.  I have more love to give than I thought I did.

We are happy, healthy.  She is a delight.  I can't take credit for her personality, but I can take at least partial credit for the fact that so far, her life has allowed her to be healthy and happy and thriving.

Yes, I still have much to learn.  But I can learn.

Well, it's time to get that baby lunch and outside time.

Later.

Aim