Personality Flaws

Hi.

So, I looked back at my last post to see what pictures I had already shared, and I saw that last time I said I hoped to write again later that week. Hahahahaha.

Well, I've had letters marinating in my mind, so I'm going to attempt to pull one together today.

I already told you a bit about my experience with the book 7.  I just finished another called You and Me Forever.  (Yet another recommended read from Molly.  Folks- she knows what she's talking 'bout.)

You and Me Forever is a book about marriage in light of eternity.  It largely describes how we should be focused on our spouse's spiritual life more than how "happy" our marriage is because if we're fulfilling our purpose as Christians, a "happy" marriage will naturally fall into place.  

I have so many underlined, starred, and bracketed sections in the book that I can't begin to share with you every part that stuck out to me.

It's funny... even though this book is on a totally different subject than 7, I felt that I was learning about many of the same penchants I have.  The lack of spiritual accountability, care for others, and the abundance of fears I hold on to, all popped up again.

One section in particular felt like looking in a mirror, seeing the cracks in my personality, and then seeing how I was created to be instead:

Prideful people are defensive, angry, blame-shifting, and focused on self.  They consistently see that the problem lies not with them, but with everyone else.  The gospel is not the focus; it is not the goal.

Humble people are broken over their own sin, more concerned with honoring God than arguing about what they deserve, and try-by the grace of God-to stay focused on the gospel and the goal.

I guess this stuck out to me so much because Jered and I had just talked about it recently.  It has been a recurring discussion really.  I have this wonderfully fun proclivity to become defensive if I feel he is being the slightest bit accusing or displeased with anything I do.  I instantly fire back with, "well you did blah, blah, blah."  It's like a reflex!  If it wasn't so terrible, it would actually be kind of funny because he always knows it's coming.

It is not what I am called to be though.  As a Christian, I am supposed to be attempting to be Christ-like.  Christ wasn't defensive.  He put the well-being of others before his own.  He didn't get caught up on what he deserved.  If he had, we would all be in some trouble.

Here's what I'm learning.  It's haaaaaard.  It's not fun.  It's a major effort to go against my natural tendencies, and I'm still completely failing.  Like, I can finish reading my Bible for the day and in the following five minutes snap at Jered for something stupid.  Less than five minutes after reading how I should behave!

And I get so angry because Jered will tell me that Evelyn is watching me already.  She is becoming more and more aware, and it's only a matter of time before she notices my tone and my attitude.  I want to fire back with "Well she is seeing what's causing me to act this way too!"

The truth is that it doesn't matter.  I should be teaching her to be humble, gentle, understanding, loving, and like Christ in all I do.  It's a little daunting when I think of how far I have to go.

Well, I have some other thoughts that have been brought on lately by these books and discussions with Jered that I'd like to talk about, but there's a cute baby waking up in the next room.  So maybe, just maybe, I can get back tomorrow.

As always, what we really want to see:

 

Until next time, ciao!

Aim