I Really Don't Have ADD

Hello there.

If you follow me on Pinterest, you may notice a sudden influx of work attire from yours truly.  Let it be known, that upon that first paycheck, someone is going shopping.  (Don't worry, Dad, just the essentials.)

Right now, partly because I don't want to wear the same two pencil skirts all the time, and partly because I have zero dress pants in my closet, I have been wearing lots of dresses and cardigans and such.  I would like some more "business-y" pieces though, so I have been gathering ideas.   Am I the only one surprised that when I looked up "office appropriate"  I found all kinds of shorts to wear to the office?  Maybe I have just worked in strict offices?  I didn't think I had, but maybe I did because I never would have dreamed of wearing shorts.  (And still don't.)

Also, we have some sad news.  Our miraculous internet connection in the apartment has parted ways with us.  It is quite the disappointment.  I think Jered is calling our local internet provider today.

Let's see, I had several random things to tell you about, but I seem to have forgotten them.

Anyway, I was reading Ephesians today.  I used the New English Translation; it was an interesting way to read things I've read several times in a different translation.  I am still grappling with this idea of predestination.  It seems unjust.  Maybe it's just the word choice?  I don't know.

I also don't remember ever understanding the Holy Spirit in this way: our down payment on our inheritance from God.  I think that's such an interesting concept.

Then I was reminded that a nice big chunk of Ephesians is on unity and peace.  It says to live a life worthy of our calling.  To live in humility, gentleness, patience.  To bear with one another in love.  To make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

(Side note:  This is the English nerd in me, I'm sure, but I just accidentally put a space in between re and minded, and thought, well isn't that interesting?  It gave me a completely different look at what it means to be reminded.  Maybe I'm just slow on the uptake.)

Sorry, I'm getting tangential.  Anyway, I thought to myself as I was reading this, "I can't even act that way in my marriage.  How am I supposed to act that way to people I don't know, or maybe don't care for too much?  But it tells me how:  I am to put off my old self, and put on my new self that has been created in God's image.  I am an image bearer for Christ, am I not?  I am to be clothed in "righteousness and holiness that comes from truth."  But gosh, how often do I forget to finish dressing with that?

Another main point that stuck out to me today was how easy it will be for the antichrist to deceive us whenever he comes.  After all, the Bible tells us that Jesus brought peace and unity to the Jews and Gentiles and he taught about it often.  And that's exactly the stand the antichrist is going to claim.  I wonder if we will be able to discern right away when he rises to "fame."

So much of life is that way though, isn't it?  Ephesians 4:14 says, "So we are no longer children, tossed back and forth by waves and carried about by every wind of teaching by the trickery of people who craftily carry out their deceitful schemes."

See, I think the problem is that when I think of these sneaky people, I believe that I'll see they are sneaky.  But that's the whole point right?  That you can't tell?  Otherwise it would be, in fact, not sneaky.  I also think that it comes into our lives in the most mundane and every day kinds of ways to the extent that we don't even notice sometimes that there could be something much bigger behind it.

I'm sure this is nothing new to you, but sometimes I just need to re-mind myself.  You know, try to stay ahead of the game if I can.

Last bit, I promise.  Something in Sunday's sermon brought this string of thoughts into my head.  "Am I using my whole potential in whatever way God would like?  Probably not.  Why not?  I don't feel like I can accomplish it.  Or maybe I don't know what He would like yet.  Well then, why don't you pray about it.  He will probably show you the way or open doors for you.  Gosh, Aimee, 'How thick can you get?'"

For real, that's almost exactly how it went down in my head as I sat in the service; movie quote included.  I kid you not.

Well, friend, I will not drag this out and contemplate the meaning of my life for you.  I'm sure you have better things to do that follow my stream of consciousness.  Maybe when I get a better idea about His plan, I'll let you know.

Until next time, have a lovely Monday afternoon.  Yes, Monday's almost over- we can do it!

Aim

Stuff

Hi there.

I've come to the definite conclusion that Des Moines-ians do not know how to drive.  I'm starting to think that everyone should move to Chicago to learn, and then the world would be a better place.

Oh, I should mention that I'm doing alot more driving now because I have a job!  I am working as a secretary/assistant at a law firm downtown. 

Maybe you wonder why I'm thinking about driving at this moment though, as I have done none of it today.  It's because, since Jered has been gone all afternoon, I watched two hours of Seinfeld.  A remarkable number of the episodes include plots revolving around driving, which led me to think about my driving experiences since I've been here.

We borrowed seasons one, two, and three from some friends, and I have been watching it alooot.  (I used to hate the show with a passion... I don't know why, except for it was always the show my dad wanted to watch, and there's just an innate stubbornness in children that makes them want to watch only what they want and to hate everything else on principle.) 

Do you ever watch a show so much, that in your head, or even aloud I guess, you start to hear the characters in your voice?  Obviously, I'm not talking out loud right now, but in my head I sound like three of the Seinfeld characters.

Anyway, here's a look at what I've been working on lately:

I got the idea for this from Pinterest, but tried to put a bit of my own spin on it.  I'm rather pleased in the new representation of our first home.

 

 Also inspired by Pinterest: a burlap covered coffee can, turned "vase" for some of the flowers from our wedding.

I think the following are my favorites so far.  Eventually they will be part of a large collection of canvases above our couch.  I took the bird picture from Pinterest, but decided I wanted to add color to them and then decided to keep going with the animals.  Can you tell who picked out the subjects for the next two?

 

 

 And here's what we've been up to lately:

For his birthday, I gave Jered a giftcard to be spent specifically on harmonica backing tracks.  We went to a music store and found a book with the sheet music to go along with the songs on a CD.  The CD has each song, complete with the harmonica player, and then without so that Jered can just play along with the background music.  He's very dedicated to his craft.

 

That was actually right before my interview last week.  Jered was sweet enough to drive me downtown for two interviews last week, so I didn't have to go myself (I can get a bit nervous) and took me out for lunch afterwards each time. 

 I guess I'll keep him around...  Just because he's "soo good lookin."  (Seinfeld reference in case you were wondering.)

 

A Few Memories

Hello dear friend.

I hope you had a nice Labor Day weekend.  Mine was... bittersweet to say the least.

Friend, I've never truly felt like I've shared something with you that was too personal.  Nothing that I regretted writing or decided to take back after posting.  I've never really even hesitated before diving into a single letter, wondering, "Is it ok for me to write this?  Is it too much?"

For some reason, however, what I want to tell you about the most, seems too much.  It's too personal, too painful, too precious to share the details of what's going on in my heart these days. 

What I will tell you, is that I love my Grandpa Bill and Grandma Robbie.  I will tell you that Grandpa's health is currently not the best.  I will tell you I got to see them this weekend.  And that is all I will tell you right now.

 

(This was taken a few years back... Right after I graduated from TIU I think.)

What I can tell you, is that Mississippi, or more specifically, Grandma and Grandpa's house, is still one of my most favorite places in the world.  I wish I could explain the smell to you.  It's impossible though.  Please, if you get the chance, drive through Mississippi and smell the air sometime.  Maybe it's the red mud, or the humidity, but it's wonderful.

I can totally see that scent is the sense most strongly tied to memory.  When I walk into my grandparents' country home, I am instantaneously taken back to my childhood.  I remember playing with My Little Ponies in the bathtub with Katie, listening to our Sesame Street cassette tape in the cactus bedroom during nap time, sloshing around on the waterbed, reading Golden Books (specifically the one where Barbie's trying to find a missing wedding dress) in the front bedroom on the green comforter that is still there, and I remember delicious food. 

As I looked around the house this time, I noticed all the things that are still there from years and years of my memories.  Grandpa's Caterpillar hats are still on top of the dresser, the blue and yellow glazed dogs are still there, there's a trinket shadow box with some E.T. toys in it is still hanging up in the hallway, the bottle with hot peppers can still be found on the turn table next to the stove, Apache's old kennel is still in the backyard, the shelves of plants still sits behind the dining room table, and there's still that strangely shaped wooden clock about the TV, which still resides next to the large, dark brick fire place.

Now that I'm writing this, I wonder if maybe I've told you these memories before, but I don't care.  They are so precious, I like reliving them.  I felt like I was soaking them all up this weekend.

I would tell you more, friend, but you should know how I am by now...

I'll talk to you later.

Aim

The Babysitters' Club

Hi there friend,

Had a lovely weekend with my family.  Best part, aside from enjoying some good laughs while crafting, was thrifting with Mom and Kate.  Jered and Dad were there too, but they aren't fun to shop with.  (Sorry guys- it's true.)  Unfortunately, I'm a bum and forgot to take out my camera at any point in time.  I managed, however, to get a shot of this:

 

Did I lie?  Forty-one socks I bagged up to throw away.  Forty. One.  However, my husband thinks he's sneaky and I saw the bag of them tossed up on the top shelf at the back of our bathroom closet.  He thinks he's so smart.

On Monday night, Uncle Jered and Aunt Aimee got to babysit! That's right.  We got to stare at this face all night.

 

This is Lily talking to Uncle Jered:

 

Uncle Nate came over too and brought pizza, or "za" as he calls it.  Apparently it's the best pizza, excuse me, za, in the world, or something like that.

 

And this is Miss Lily loving Aladdin already.  She is a smart, little lady.

It was a lovely evening.  Jered let me, yes-he is a baby hog, bounce her to sleep and hold her while she took a nap.  She is too precious.

So, I don't know if you have this problem, but my Bible, over time, gets filled up with sheets of paper I've taken notes on.  Typically handouts from the bulletin or Sunday school classes.  You know, to the point that it's much thicker than it should be.

In going through them, I've found loads of great notes that I should take stock of more often.  I think I've said before that I was going to share some of said notes with you, but I must have gotten distracted.  Today I took notice of some handouts from Rebekah's Sunday school class. 

The class started out as a study of Jonah.  We studied some other passages too, but the focus was on Jonah.  Reba would also bring in lyrics to old hymns, new songs, old prayers, poems, quotes, and articles for us to read. 

I don't want to get into all the babble regarding today's latest news because I feel a certain way, and I don't wish to get into it with people, one way or the other.  (I'm sure you know what I'm referring to.)  I think it's better for me to look at myself and see whether or not I'm living the way I should.  How ironic then, that I should come across these notes I took in class.

"There is but one good, and that is God.  Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it turns from Him." - C.S. Lewis

"When a fish leaves water, which he is built for, he is not free, but dead." - Tim Keller

Smart guys, huh?  It would have been really easy for God to take away free will.  You know, what if He saw that Adam and Eve obviously couldn't handle it, things were going to be disastrous, and He could have avoided all the bad things that resulted by making us act how He wanted?  It could have been so smooth.  No ripples in the water.  He could have just done what Jafar wanted to do to Princess Jasmine, and forced us to love Him. 

But God is not a villain.  He wants us to choose to love Him.  He wants us to embrace free will, but choose to do right.  Each time I do something outside of His will, well, I hate to think what it does to Him.  He is my heavenly Father.  I know how terrible I feel if I do something that disappoints my dad, so why should this be any different?

It's so easy to get into the mindset of, "Well, God gave me free will, so I can do whatever I want.  He will forgive me after all.  Maybe I can have my cake and eat it too."  But like Mr. Keller said, if we think we are free by going against what we are made for, we are sadly mistaken. 

You know, when we were growing up, from time to time, purity would come up in youth group.  Brandon often said that people want to ask, "How far can I go and still be pure?"  He always told us we were asking the wrong question.  We should be asking, "What do I need to do to remain pure?  Purity is the goal- not pushing the limits towards impurity."  I suppose that doesn't just refer to purity, but to how I'm trying to be Christ-like every day.

Do you ever notice how spiritual truths just bring everything full circle in your head all the time?  For example: If I'm making Christ-likeness my goal, rather than a tether, I will be striving to live how I am made to live, therefore being "good" like the quote from C.S. Lewis suggests and fully alive as Tim Keller does.

Ok, in my head anyway, it came full circle because I didn't plan out this letter in advance, I just wrote as I thought of it, and it ended up coming right back to the first thing I wrote about without me trying to make it do so.

Well my friend, I think I will take my leave for now.  I'd like to end my letter with this prayer- also a handout from class.  Have a good day!

Aim

Suffer me never to think

that I have knowledge enough

to need no teaching,

wisdom enough

to need no correction,

talents enough

to need no grace,

goodness enough

 to need no progress,

humility enough

to need no repentance,

devotion enough

to need no quickening,

strength sufficient

without Thy Spirit;

lest, standing still,

I fall back forevermore.

Eric Milner-White  (1884-1964)

What do you say to that?

Hello friend.

Today is a closet take-over day for me.  Mua. Ha. Ha. 

Jered and I had our own closets for the majority of our first year of matrimony.  Now that we're sharing... well, let's just say, there's a difference of opinions on how the inside of a closet should look.

I probably go through my closet and dresser, with the intention of tossing items I haven't used in awhile or things I just know I won't wear, and get rid of said items, semi-annually, if not quarterly. 

Jered, however, still has pieces of clothing from the dark ages.

This is going to change.  Now, I will not be the horrible wife and throw away the truly loved, however old and worn out, items he has in his closet.  But!  I have no qualms about getting rid of the 53 out of 17,397 socks my husband keeps around without matches, not to mention the ones that are so stretched out that I cannot fathom how they stay on his feet.

 

I am also thinking about finding someone to alter about half of his dress shirts, since the likeliness of Jered growing into them is slim.  (Haha- because he is slim.)

 

You may or may not have heard Jered confess that he is "turning over a new leaf" when it comes to his attire.  He wants to start dressing up in suits and such dressiness more often, and eventually, all the time.  Rather than wear scrubs to work, he almost always wears dress clothes, including a tie.  However, out of the 3,049 he owns, he probably wears only a handful... I think it's time to reevaluate some of those as well...

 

I think if I make some preliminary changes... that maybe I can get him on board... I don't know.  This might be breaking the Flinkman law of man closets?  Can any of my fellow Flinkman ladies shed light on this issue?  Will Jered stop loving me if I toss things he never wears? 

. . .

On a completely different note, I've been noticing a lot of strongly anti-Christian posts on Facebook lately.  Posts that hate on the beliefs of Christians, and posts that straight up are against the people who make up The Church.  

One such post I saw, stated this:

I don't [care] what the bible says about gay people.  The bible condones slavery, child abuse, misogyny, war, and rape-marriages, and should not be considered a "moral guidebook."  And until you actually prove that God even exists, your argument is irrelevant.

My heart broke when I read this... largely due to the fact that I knew who posted it.  But also because this week it became clear to me that many people feel this way.  Many people I grew up with, went to school with, or worked with at some point.  

I have to confess that I can see why they believe the Bible condones some of those things.  Does it not tell slaves that they are to be obedient to their masters?  Does God not tell the kings, such as Saul and David, kings that He appointed, to go to war, sometimes to leave no survivors?  I've even been struggling in my own heart this week about the concept of "predestination."  How can there already be a set group of people who will believe?  I guess that's a big part of why my heart broke after reading the post: because I didn't feel like I could argue against it.  

Except for I know God is good.  I know God is merciful.  I know God is just.  I know God loves all of us.

It's tearing me up inside.  I know these things.  I can't explain why.  Truthfully, I know some people could point out more Bible verses that "prove" the opposite of what I wish I could.  

Earlier this week, Jered, Jacob, and I were talking about behavioral/psychological disorders in children.  It's really easy to say that they probably had some sort of trauma that set such problems in motion.  It's because of the parents.  And the parents are probably that way because of their parents.  And so on and so forth. 

Jacob pointed out, and we agreed, that it's not necessarily the case.  It had to start somewhere. It all comes back to sin nature.  Sin nature is in all of us, and it just manifests itself in different ways.  It's no different than why some of those horrible things happened in the Bible, is it?  It goes all the way back to Adam and Eve pointing fingers at each other and one of their sons killing his brother.  It's all about sin, right?

That might be what caused such horrible things to happen in the Bible and even in today's time, but it doesn't all have to begin and end with sin.  We have Jesus' promise of redemption if we come to Him, don't we?  Thank God- am I right?  What a depressing post this would be otherwise.  

Bad things happen.  Injustice and hate and terrible things.  Some things we just can't explain.  Well, maybe someone wiser, and more learned than myself could.  The point is, and this might be more for my own mind than yours, sin entered the world.  Not everything can be rationalized.  Yes, awful experiences have been had by generations and generations of people.  And not everything is going to make sense.  But if I truly believe what I say I know about God, then I can have hope in what He's promised me.

It's a really crummy feeling to know that I can't change their minds.  I don't know what has happened in their own lives to make them feel the way they do.  I feel guilt at knowing that after my time of interacting with some of them, they still have such feelings toward Christians.  I wonder what I could have done differently to lessen that.  But... I always have prayer.  And I know God can do far more than I ever could.  

If you think about it, maybe you could send up a prayer for them too.  I wouldn't mind one either.

. . .

On a much lighter note: my family is coming to visit for the weekend.  I'm very excited for them to get here and see our place for the first time.  I'm not sure what all we'll do yet, but maybe they'll let me put them to work on some of my apartment projects... Hm... We will see.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, my friend. 

Aim

Birt-Day Boy

Happy Birt-day husband!

Take a look at that cute, little guy.  I think it's safe to say you've grown up a bit...

I thought long and hard about what to write to you today.

First, I thought a nice, heartfelt letter telling you how much I love you and how special you are would do the trick...

Then, I thought a poem would be great!  You've written several for me, but I've only done one for you, and what better place to write you one than right here?

At last, I arrived at my final decision.  I thought it was only too fair to return the kind, little diddy you created for my birthday.

Ahem, cough cough.

I don't know, but I've been tooold,
Jered Flinkman's gettin' old!

He can't hear, and he can't see;
He's getting awfully wobbly.

He likes saying that he's young,
Now he'll have to bite his tongue.

He wears his mesh shorts up real high,
And he hobbles around like a real old guy.

Now that he is twenty-six,
His bones will snap like little sticks.

He wears tall socks with his shoes,
And his hair, he's starting to lose. (JK sir, JK)

He sits outside and plays his harp,
Then tans his squirrel on an ol-d tarp.

He threw his back out playing ball,
He could hardly move at all.

Ok, I won't go on for as long as you did.  I'm not that cruel.  (Or as clever as you.)

Well, dear husband, I must cut this letter short.  I have some secret, birt-day business to attend to... See you after work!

Love,

Aimee

Forward Motion

Hiya.

I hope you're doing well today.  Have I mentioned how much of an old lady I feel like these days?  During my extended vacation from real life, I have taken up watching Perry Mason and the Price is Right every morning.  Today, a guy missed out on a $98,000 Porsche. 

Anyway, yesterday I had intended to write to you about what God's been teaching me recently, but as I told you yesterday, I was too emotional already. 

You may or may not know that Jered works weird hours.  Half of the week he has a 7 to 3pm shift, and the other half of the week is 3 to 11pm.  This makes routine difficult.  It also means that when he has to wake up early, he wants to go to bed early, and when he works late, he wants to sleep late.  Add to that the fact that on the days he has an evening free, he often wants to play basketball or lift, and in my mind, our valuable time together starts to dwindle.

I used to think that my love language was physical touch.  And I still think that is near the top of the list for me.  However, one thing I've learned about myself this year is that quality time is the winner in my book.  The problem lies not necessarily in how much time we spend together, but the quality of what time we have.  It doesn't always cut it if we're plopped in front of the TV or browsing the internet during our time together.

I think of how much better I feel when I have that quality time.  How necessary it is for me.  How hurt I feel if Jered, through no fault of his own, doesn't get that because he has a different love language.  That brings me to another relationship.

Lately, I've been thinking about how absent my daily walk with God is.  I see Him working in our lives.  I see answered prayers.  I see the blessings.  But, I have been severely neglecting my personal time with Him.  And I get so frustrated at the fact that I'm doing to Him, the same thing that I hate having done to me.  Only, my fault in this is much worse.  (See, whereas Jered thinks all time together is quality time, therefore believing he's fulfilling that need, I'm just flat out, not spending time with God.)

So, you might ask, where is all of this coming from?

Well, Sunday's message was on forward movement.  How we are to embrace the life of the cross.  One way of saying this, that struck a chord in me, was this:  Religion supplements our lives, but God transforms them.

"Now isn't that always the way? The books you read in class always seem to have some strong connection with whatever angsty, adolescent drama is going on."  Get the reference?

Or, in a more church-like scenario, the message always has to do with what God's been laying on your heart?  He gets me every time!  He always seems to get those tough ones lined up, doesn't He?

I came across this great quote I had written in my Bible quite a while ago, toward the end of the service on Sunday.

The Bible is alive, it speaks to me;

it has feet, it runs after me;

it has hands, it lays hold on me.

                               Martin Luther

It's true, right?  But I somehow manage to ignore it?  Is that the right word?  It's not that I'm doing it on purpose.  I love getting into the Word, but I "don't have time" for it?  When all I seem to have right now is time.  Bah- despicable me...

The part I really, seriously, cannot understand, is that it's always so much better when I am in the Word regularly.  When God is the center.  Why then, is is such a struggle?  Well, I'm praying that I'm riled up enough now to make a change.  A lasting change.  

You know, the message was based on "Forward Movement," but when I went to title my letter, "forward motion" came out... I guess it's the same message... It just came from a seemingly silly song about ten years ago... Allow me to take you back to THIS.  

Well, I need to get some cleaning up done around this place, and go for a jog... but I think before I do anything else, I'm going to dive into my Bible for a bit.  Send a prayer up for this girl.

Happy Tuesday!

Aim